123 : My BEAUTIFUL TARGET，My MEMORIES

Annyeong world~!

Just got back from 123! 123?
Ye! December 3rd, day of the MO.A! MO.A?
MOST AMAZING 2011, a concert held by CJ Entertainment of South Korea and some company in Malaysia la, presenting Miss A, f(x) and my princes Super Junior and my flower boys B1A4 ! 
And you know something else? It's my first time in a live concert !


The procedure was like shit, the whole process my mum was mad at me, but then I love her cause she let me go! XD


I went with Yeonnie, reached the stadium really early, and waited like crazy outside, VERY HOT~
There was like a "K-POP Night Market", selling Super Junior, B1A4, Miss A and f(x) merchandise, for a bloody high price. I call it... "Pasar Malam K-Pop" XD There was gonna be like a few hours before the gates to the stadium open, and so we loitered around looking at merchandise, saw really really high quality Super Junior merchandise, including fans, files, books etc etc, was gonna buy a fan (because it's really hot there) with uli Kyuhyun on it, but when I asked the price, she said "RM40", I was like "Huh?". It was painful, but I was thinking, there's no bloody way a fan costs RM40 (Ｔ～Ｔ)
so I didn't buy it. 
Walked to several other stalls, bought 2 shirts instead, 1 for RM35 but I bargained 2 for RM60 (^.~). 1 B1A4 printed and the other with MO.A print on it~ Both black. Since the other fan was so expensive, I got another fan for RM10. The picture wasn't as nice as the RM40 wan la, but who cares! Super Junior's still handsome! Uli wangja, saranghae~!

Can you tell who are on the key chains?

So we finished shopping and went to wait at the gates. We didn't line up, we just squeezed into the line when the gate opened. Too much physical contact with the other people, it smells horrible. Can die... 
Our place was a bit further from the stage, but the view is good. You get to see all 3 screens, and also you can see them performing on stage. The people in front had numbered seating so nobody blocked us. You can see the performers head to toe, but it really was too far to touch them (TT~TT) I'm small, so I managed to squeeze to the front. We saw the vans, I meant SUVs which drove Super Junior and the others here, OMO, felt so excited! They're only like a few metres away! OMO! 

The first performance was from Miss A. I wasn't really interested (no offence) so I was walking around, trying to see if I can get to the front, near the stage. Bloody hell, so many "RELA" at the side (==) so I changed my mind, then I had to squeeze from the back to the front. By the time I found Yeonnie, Miss A's performance was about to end and then B1A4! AH~!~! Their first song was "Beautiful Target", omo they so cute! Nae salang GongChan changed his hairstyle ad! You're so handsome right now! Salanghae~! After that song, they introduced themselves, in English!!! They were the only ones who spoke in English the whole time! OMO, so thoughtful! 

"I'm B1A4's leader (I swear I heard 'weader' XD), JinYoung."

"Apa khabar? I'm cute face, Gongchan." <3 

Neol salanghae, Gongchan! 

(left to right) GongChan, JinYoung, Baro, Sandeul, CNU

Channie~ <3

(I wonder what this part was, GongChan and CNU)

Seriously, love Channie so much~ <3

"I'm super duper rapper Baro, baby" *many people scream* XD

After that, we heard "My Love", "O.K", and "Only Learned Bad Things" ! And their classic sprout dance, LIVE! XD OMO, in front of my eyes!


And then f(x), I didn't scream so much. I rested, for closing act Super Junior! OMO! 
"Super Man", their first song was Super Man! Ah! Opening act so sat! After Super Man, they continued with A-CHa, and then Mr Simple. We saw Eunhyuk do his handstand live, wow! Their intro was so cute! Especially Yesung's and Leeteuk's! XD 

Ryeowook spoke Chinese! Yesung's intro was so cute! 


"Yesung: Apa khabar?!
Yesung: Apa khabar?!!
Yesung: Apa khabar~! *voice cracked* 
And then from the huge screen, we saw his awkward face, and he mumbled his name XD
Yesung-oppa, gwiyeop!


Donghae spoke accurate Malay!


Leeteuk's intro was also great!
Leeteuk: "Assalamualaikum~~~~~~ Nama saya..."
Audience: "Leeteuk!!!"
Leeteuk: "Nama saya...?"
Audience: "Leeteuk!!!!!!!!"
Leeteuk: "Nama saya...??"
Audience: "Leeteuk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Leeteuk: " XD Leeteuk, bingo~"
XD Omo, gwiyeop!!!


After all that intro, Yesung sung a solo ‘It Has To Be You", and halfway through he walked to the runway, and then from the screen, we saw clearly he was teary-eyed (T^T). I also almost cry. He looked so handsome walking down the runway, I love him so much! (T^T)

After Yesung's solo, I forgot what came after, I think it was "Memories".We also heard a beautiful "Marry You", all 9 of SuJu walked down the runway and threw towels to the fans, walao! WALAO! (T^T) They wipe their sweat and throw to the fans walao! I wanted to cry ah since I was so far from the runway (T^T)~ Leeteuk shook hands with a fan lagi... He also sat on the edge of the stage. My heart aches... (T^T)
Then later they sang "Bonamana", Leeteuk said "Malaysia has a lot of beautiful girls. You will like our next performance, Bonamana!" (btw, this is translated by the translator). And their last song, was "Sorry, Sorry"! 


The performance ended with all of them coming out to the stage. Lucky for me, cause me and Yeonnie were like pleading for B1A4 to come back out. "Omo, B1A4 come back out!!!"

The performance ended, was gonna leave when I suddenly saw people crowding near backstage, so me and Yeonnie ran in the mud (==) towards the same destination, and because we're small, we can easily squeeze pass through everyone XD. I wasn't that front, but in between 2 ppl from the first row, so I got a clear view too :P Yeonnie was stuck and cramped behind me. I swear, in the midst all that hoo haa, someone stepped on my shoe! Eesh! But anyway, saw Siwon sleeveless while he was going up to the SUV and he walked in our direction! EXACTLY OUR DIRECTION and waved goodbye to the E.L.Fs. He couldn't get too close because of the mean crew people (T^T). The girls started shouting "Siwon" over and over, some said "Oppa, saranghae" and everything, then later we started chanting loudly "SS4" LOLz! We also saw Kyuhyun and Donghae (><) ~ They really look so much better in the flesh, photos and videos do them NO JUSTICE!


As for B1A4, I nearly got a picture of CNU and JinYoung as they were outside waving to the fans before leaving, but some bloody person pushed me, and all I got was a blurry picture! Damn! And I tried to take the others' picture too, but there was this girl RELA who went and block my camera, and I was already stuck in the crowd! With such a front view, why would I wanna move!?
After that I saw someone holding out a rose from the window of B1A4's SUV, I couldn't see who it was because he's on the opposite side of my view. As they left, we got to see Sandeul (B1A4) waving in our direction with a rose in the other hand, CNU was next to him, and then "bye bye". Super Junior's SUV curtains were closed so we couldn't see anyone inside.  

My mum waited outside and took videos of the SUV! Apparently, nobody could look into SuJu's van because the curtains were closed, but my mum caught one of the girls on video and she spoke to a lucky fan! The crew stopped them again, damn those crew people! I wonder if the one talking to her fan was a Miss A or if it was f(x)'s Victoria. The others are Korean anyway, how in the world would they wanna converse? (=.=)

Argh! After that I went out to the "Pasar Malam K-Pop" and went around trying to find something to buy. A lot of new merchandise were brought out but damn, they're so expensive! So I bought nothing. 

After that I went to spend the night in my relative's house, and today I realized... I should've stayed in One World Hotel! That's where Super Junior and B1A4 were! DAMN, DAMN, DAMN!!! (T^T)

All in all, I finally know how Ann and the others felt when they attended SJ-M's concert the other day! It feels great, seriously, meeting them live is better than any other video! They look so much better in the flesh that all the videos and photos do them no justice! Seriously, they were so close. To think we were under the same cloudy, dark sky that night! To think they were within reach! It all feels way to surreal. They were speaking OUR language, they were singing to US, they could've seen US! Really, omg...

123 MO.A, was my Beautiful Target, and it's now one my Memories~ 

Super Junior, salanghae!

B1A4, salanghae!

Uli wangja,

Uli kkotminam, 

I LOVE YOU !!!!!!

You made my first concert so meaningful !
Hangsang komawo!!!

生活这件小事…

一般的戏剧：

少女不漂亮、不能干，无比平凡。

少女爱上绝伦美少年。

少女变得漂亮；少年喜欢上了少女。

快乐结局…

可是现实真的那么美好么？

若把我生活拍成一部电影

我想剧情应该不同凡响吧？

我

虽然是混血儿，样貌确实和别人不太一样，

却不漂亮。

若想说能干，也似乎有什么不对经~

我

喜欢上他，却往往不被注意。

即使他注意到我，也只把我当好朋友看待。

我

一脸不屑，

看似坚强，

却其实一点安全感都没有。

我

被人羡慕，

“你眼睛很漂亮啊～”

“你眼睫毛很长啊～”

“你成绩很好啊～”

“你朋友都对你真好啊～”

但这几句仰慕中，到底哪个是幻觉，哪个是事实？

我这是在谦虚吗？还是在小看我自己？

才没有。

这一切都是事实呢。

我并不是在埋怨。

我早就适应了这样。

不漂亮没关系。

无才干没关系。

没人喜欢没关系。

没人关心没关系。

麻木了，习惯了，都不会疼了。

我是独生女，

习惯沉默，

习惯孤独，

但也不代表我喜欢这种寂寞。

反而，

我应该很渴望别人的陪伴才对吧？

毕竟一个人的世界里没有可以依靠的人

是多么恐怖的感觉~

有时候呢，会时常安慰自己，

我这样告诉自己：

“人会随着时间改变的，总有一天你也变给大家看好了~”

这样算是我硬撑吧？

偶尔也会想，

如果命运是安排我一辈子孤独，那么早点习惯也好。

我性格又怪癖，脾气坏，

要找一个能陪我的人，哈！多么难找啊，真麻烦！

哎，还是算了吧。

长得丑没人要，

性格怪癖也没人要，

与其让人反感，早点接受事实也好！

。。。。。。

而这事实，虽然有点痛，我还是接受了。

丑不是罪啊，

笨也不是罪，

不完美…也不是罪。

只是不幸而已。

那一个星期五，

上了补习课之后，

大家纷纷都回家了。

妈妈还在上班，所以迟点才来接我。

老师，是我爸的同学，

他没有儿女，所以把我像女儿一样看待。

他对我说：

“喜欢一个人有什么不对？

被拒绝了又有什么不对？

你怎么能知道没有人喜欢你？

因为最喜欢你的人，往往就是最静的那一个。

因为太喜欢你，他会害怕，害怕被你拒绝，

因此，他选择把喜欢你的这个秘密藏在他心里，

他根本就不会告诉你…

一直到30年后的那一次团聚，

那个时候你们都有了各自的家庭，

那个时候他会告诉你，30年前他多么喜欢你，

可是错过了，

或许会有点后悔，可是最痛的回忆其实是最珍贵的经验，

因为在你最痛的时候，

你学到了最重要的东西。”

我仿佛看见他眼里的一抹泪光，

害得我也差点哭出来了。

明明这些话不是对我说的，

这些话，是安慰他自己而说出来的，

怎么我也好像得到了安慰？

“你还记得那天在Jusco见面么？”

我笑。

“那个时候我看见了最漂亮的你~”

我傻。“哈？”

“很漂亮很可爱的你，并不是因为穿着、修饰，而是你如何真实。你是个很特别的女孩。”

我愣。我那一天在Jusco做了什么，我已经完全不记得了，

而我也不明白他当天从我身上看到了什么，

不过这番话都让我很高兴，

即使是安慰的话也罢…

“如果我现在16岁，和你同校，我一定会很喜欢上学。

若和你同班，只注意你也能快乐~”

我…抑制了自己的泪。

我不知道他是否注意到我的泪光，不过这个不重要。

（哈哈，当时不敢哭，现在写部落格却在飙泪~！）

这泪水，

到底是为什么我不知道。

是希望吧，

因为我这丑女都会有最漂亮的时候。

是欣慰吧，

因为我可能…是个特别的存在。

是幸福吧，

因为我的美，是内在的，永不褪色。

世界上没有十全十美的人，

你看扁我不比其他女生漂亮也好，

你闲我笨、没用也好…

我以后才看怎么收拾你。XD

不过现在，

我知道我不能取代任何人，但也没有人能取代我。

我们都是独一无二的存在，没有人能和我们一样，

所以告别才会那么困难~

你了解了…生活这件小事么? 

感情这件小事 ~

你可知道，

惹了他

和

伤了他

的区别？

惹了他，

他或许会生气，

可是回到家，

洗个舒服的泡泡澡、

拼命挖一汤匙一汤匙的雪糕往嘴里不停地塞、

把枕头想象成你不停捶打着，

一直到晚上依然还在大发雷霆，

情不自禁在半夜时分拨打了死党的号码，不停向他埋怨着……

你可知道，

他之所以会那么生气是因为他一直在想你？

想着如何面对你？

想着如何弥补？

想他能做什么、

想他能对你说什么，

之所以会生气是因为在乎……

惹了一个人，就像个气球一样，

充满怒气灵魂无法平静下来，总在各种地方飘游寻找坠身之地，

随着时间的流逝，怒气慢慢消失，就像缓缓收缩的无气气球，

渐渐从天空落下，最后再着地……

惹了一个人，还有机会返回往昔的快乐，

因为在乎你，

你不需要说对不起，

他也能原谅你。

因为在乎你，

是他说“对不起”，

“那时在你面前发脾气。”

因为在乎你，

他能一切都忘掉，

笑着面对你。

*** 

我曾经也是这样吧……

因为在乎而可以让你自由，

因为害怕是自己想了太多，

因为害怕是自己毛病太多，

因为我或许没有资格，

我保持沉默，

什么都不说。

到最后，

受伤的是我……

***

伤了他，

他会笑着对身边人说

“没事”
那脆弱的声音，

不知是在肯定

还是在安慰自己……

即使他的心在滴血，

他会笑着对你，

即使他的笑是一部戏，

也要为你演得最好。

此伤毫无解药，

伴着每滴血的笑容只是他的面具。

四周的人只蔑视他的笑，

看到的是快乐，

但若他们能在看他多一眼，

或许就会察觉到他微笑后的忧伤。

他会忍耐，

即使自己再痛，他会硬撑，

他之所以不哭，是因为尝试坚强。

有一天，你会想他，

可他为了保护自己，

却忘了你。

就像死亡后投胎，

他会重新开始，

就像刚出世的赤子

找到属于他的快乐。

他想不再被伤害，

所以他学会武装自己，

就像玫瑰一样，

清纯却又充满荆刺。

“对不起”

会否赢得他的原谅，

只能看他生活还能不能选择宽容，

但我知道，

“对不起”

揭穿不了他的武装，

或许是他的坚强，

也或许是他心中那无法消失的伤。

***

惹了他，是一个短暂的回忆，

伤了他却是永恒的伤痕。

惹了他和伤了他的区别，

就是这样。

让人生气的事情能忘记，

抛在后头，不再回头，迈向前走。

让人流泪的事情能尝试忘记，能尝试封闭，

就像在吃止痛药，

麻醉，但伤痕却一直都在。

不公平，

因为我没流泪，我就是坏人。

而她留了泪，她就是受害者。

对，现在我的确是坏人，

因为让她哭了，是我的错。

是我的错，

因为不曾告诉她我现在变成这样子的理由。

我自私，我无情，我是坏人我知道！

可在我受伤的事候，

有谁在乎？

因为我没流泪，我的伤就不够重是不是？

因为我是寂寞孤单的我什么都不说

因为我尝试坚强我不想哭

你们把我看成坏人，你们知道什么？

我忍了多久你们知道吗？

我撑了多久你们知道吗？

让她哭，我错。

不告诉她，我错。

但别说我没忍过，

更别说我不会谅解。

我不要她改变，我才什么都不说，

我想改变的是我自己，往往就改变不了。

这样无声的告别，

只能使她哭一次，

哭过了便能忘掉，忘掉便能适应…

为了我自己，这是必不得已，

剩下来能说得只有谢谢你，

对不起。

初恋这件小事 ~ ♥

少女长得不是很漂亮，

平凡得不起眼~ 

混在众星捧月的校花群众，

感觉是多么的渺小。

少年是灿烂的美男，

笑起来能翻天覆地。

无论何时都是校花的焦点，

当然少女也不例外。

少女爱上少年，

引来的是笑容还是泪水？

。。。

一味地注视着踢球的他，

却有几个人会注意到看台那儿的少女？

从他教室门口经过，

往教室里迅速瞟一眼，

看见他发呆的样子，他的睡样，

仅此而已，

心里就足以欣喜。

课外活动——

要参加什么学会才能多见到他？

怎么让他意识到少女的存在？

放学，该何时离开教室才能与他擦肩而过？

不巧，

看见扭伤脚的“白美媚”骑在他摩托车后座，

心里的嫉妒燃烧，

生活又多了个情敌~

少年送的百事，

贴上“禁止饮用”，

放进冰箱内冷藏。

少年为少女逞英雄，

受了伤，

少女递给少年伤痛药，

少年叫了一声少女的名字，

“谢谢你”，

少女的心情飘到九霄云外，

“学长知道我的名字！”

偷了少年的电话号码初次拨打过去，

仅是听见他从话筒传来的声音

心里便会小路乱撞，

到屋外兴奋地尖叫了，

回来听电话，少年却挂了。

号码输进手机

点了"call"

点了“cancel”

觉得自己永远都不会通这电话，

也不会发一条短信，

总觉得自己在他面前是丑陋的……

。。。

心里无论如何都无法放弃对他的爱慕~

说放弃怎么可能？

尤其是少年从芒果树上降下来的时候，

怀中抱着小猫，

现身于少女面前，问她：
“要芒果么？”

说完便把小猫送到母猫怀抱~

遇到这样的少年，

怎么可能忘记？

这样的他提醒了少女，

想成为一个更好的人。

“再美一点他就会注意我了吧？”
“再好一点他可能会喜欢我。”

时间一天一天过去，

少女努力变成了更好的人，

漂亮了，

能干了，

却往往变成最孤独的人。

当少女知道，她可能再也不能跟他说话，

再也不能每天见到他，

甚至听说，

他和那漂亮的学姐在一起，

那一瞬间，少女依然在逞强，

没有意识到自的泪水已经不受控制淋满了脸，

于是少女觉自己想要拼一次，

即使把自己踩在脚底，

也要告诉他
“我喜欢你”

告诉他从开始的时候，

从最开始见到少年的时候，

少女就喜欢他了。

他望着少女，

她甚至不敢直视他的眼睛，

说好多她想告诉他的话，

屏着呼吸等着他的答案……

因为我喜欢你，

喜欢一个人才会做出这些小事情。

如果生活是一部戏，

会有几个人得到童话般的结局呢？

就算结局不美好，

在我们每个人的内心深处都藏了个人。

每次想起他，

或许会心痛，

但我们仍然愚蠢地想把他，

这片回忆、这段故事、这首情歌藏在心里。

无论是喜剧、悲剧；

活泼的情歌还是忧郁的哀悼歌，

就算是以后不知道他在哪里，在做什么，还记不记得我，

至少他让我知道

初恋这件小事~ ♥

"神一般" Confession

Annyeong~! (^^)

Oh how long has it been since I last updated my blog??? I have so many things to say right now~! But before that...

SAENGILCHUKA, TAN SHI YEE-SHI~!

1st, I'll start with 'Gema Patriotik"~!
We made it through to the finals~!
However, due to the exams, we had little time to prepare for it, and by little time, I mean only 4 days~
It was a really, erm, nerve-racking time for us because we had to think of everything and get it perfect in 4 days~ We made use of weekends, spending at least 4 hours everyday at Justin's kindergarten practicing and rehearsing~
We used the "Teenage Dream" parody during the preliminary rounds and we know that now that it's finals we have to do something dynamic~ But how dynamic can we get when we only have 4 days of practice? And how much more dynamic can we be if were to compare ourselves to 4Sc2, and the other classes who had professional training and care~ In our hearts, we secretly thought to ourselves......

WE'RE SO FREAKING DOOMED~!

We may have been discouraged and stressed-out due to all the talented contenders that can take us out, but during the times we rehearsed, there was one thing we know we didn't lack at all ......

LAUGHTER~~~~~~

Every rehearsal was filled with laughter and support... and everything we did we did it with HEART <3 ~


The songs we chose were those we can relate to personality wise, we chose songs we'd be interested to sing in, and our closing act was a Disney movie's :
Demi Lovato's "We Can't Back Down" from Camp Rock~ 
We trained the hand signs and everything, and after receiving feedback and opinions from various people, including Tze Hao, Hwee Yee and Xin Een, we managed to make it all the more dynamic and patriotic <3 May Jee also thought of a formation which we had to bravely take the initiative to make the 1st step, with May Jee leading us solo,  and me and Xin Een to come out later~


Training was fun, we were still intimidated by the others, so I'm pretty sure we gave it all we got just to make it on stage... For everyone knows what a disaster we were during the "raptai" (sorry, I forgot what it's called in English~)


The day of the competition came and we arrived at school at 6am to prepare~ The others also looked really good, and when they were on stage they were great too. We were intimidated and nervous, but we knew we had to do our best, and remember that,
"Hey, maybe the others are better than we are, but I bet we had a more meaningful and happy time rehearsing than they did~!"  It came to a stage where we consoled ourselves with these happy memories we're so proud of, it came to a stage where we thought winning didn't matter, because we won each other in the process~ A sentimental bond was formed between the hearts of 4Sc1~ (^^)


Time flew by, we were 4th to perform~ Everyone was still nervous, and it also turned out pretty ugly because all of us couldn't find the tempo to the song. However, when we sang without music, hey, we sounded awesome and we had fun~! I don't wanna brag but, there are pretty good singers in 4Sc1. May Jee, Xin Een, Kah Kit, and even Rui Yuan was great (^^) ~! The others hardly sang off tune as well~ I'm so proud of you guys~!


Our surprise was the closing act, "We Can't Back Down". After opinions from everyone, we changed the lyrics into more patriotic ones, and fortunately enough I brought the Malaysian flag to enhance the feeling of the song~ MayJee led our pyramid formation, being the first to step out, followed by Xin Een and I, and the rest of the 1st row~ There came to a point where we looked like we were in a music video XD, and there was that part where we "hentak kaki" and "hormat" at the last note~ When I looked into XinYi's recording of our perfomance, I saw that everyone did it so magnificently and according to tempo that OMG, we looked like GLEE CLUB~! (>v<) Some told me that they were shaking when they saluted the audience, but MayJee claimed to have felt satisfaction, and I felt the same, putting on a broad smile at the end of our performance~ We also sang another song "Down" when we wanted to put our hands down and bowed at the last note~
YES~! We were satisfied~! We may not be as great as the others, but hey, do you know what it feels like to put on a show for you guys only after 4 days of practice?! Some even call this INSANE~! (^^)


When they announced the results, we were disappointed that Zhen Hong didn't win the "Best Conductor" award, because he was awesome in our eyes~ Several teachers were surprised too~ And sure we're still not happy about it right now, but hey, we're 16 years old and we don't keep little things at heart~
When they announced 3rd place to 2A2, we felt a little surprised because when we heard them rehearse, they seemed to have the most variety of vocals~ Going as far as giving us a super-high-pitched-soprano-like "Kita Satu Malaysia" ~ So we were kinda surprised.
We were even more surprised when 4Sc2 came 2nd, because they were obviously, more crowd-pleasing than we were (^^). And to tell you the truth, anyone in their right mind would have felt sorry for us because even we knew 4Sc2 did so much a good job compared to us~ We were like, despaired because if 4Sc2 is 2nd, where do we place? I went as far as considering Form 1 and Form 2 as the champions...


My tears burst out...
WHEN WE HEARD WE CAME 1ST~! I don't know why but I just couldn't stop it, I tried, but it didn't work~! It's like my faucet leaked (><) ~ And then that Sim Zheng Yee ar, recorded me crying for so long I didn't even notice...
Dear God... (= =) My image (>.<) That was the 1st time I ever cried tears of joy~ Oh boy~ What is wrong with me...


We were even happier during English Period because Miss Tan claimed that our "We Can't Back Down" made her cry~ We didn't understand why~ Maybe it's because we tried so hard, or maybe we poured feelings into our closing act... I just dunno... But it's great that our performance reached to someone and touched them...because honestly, all we thought we were doing was making fools out of ourselves (>.<)


And that's the end of the Gema Patriotik 2011, a memory that will forever be in our hearts~ (^^)


2nd, I'm in <3 with SUJU ar~!


Got pretty bored lately, so I went on Youtube watching variety shows, like 强心脏、综艺大哥大、黄金舞台 etc etc~ 过后就看到了圭贤超可爱的一幕啊~！看到什么我猜你猜的“蚌壳精”，他那个容易害羞，却又很努力的性格真的害我倾心了啦—！我也是名副其实会喜欢上有才华帅哥的女生，所以你说我会放过圭贤么？！
我会喜欢一个人，多半是先看性格，过后看才华，再看样貌。三样俱全的圭贤，我怎能不爱呢?

呵呵— 当然我也开始很喜欢SUJU了啦，可是圭贤依然拍第一啊~ 无论是SJ还是SJ-M，加上周觅和Henry这15位男生，我超爱圭贤，不过另外14个也当然不会忽略啦~ 反而，越看东海觉得他越可爱越酷越帅~ 所以佳瑜，虽然我是你的神一般的太完美情人，不过我允许你和东海的“地下情”~！啊哈~！XD

都靠圭贤的福，我接触到了很多东西，而且自己也越来越喜欢中文了~！“月亮代表我的心”这首歌，也越听越好听，就连韩国儿歌“Gom Se Mari”我也爱得不得了~！
电话里满都是SJ的东西（或许不比陈欣怡-shi、燕姐、神一般太完美情人吴佳瑜、语琳、银诗他们的多，不过本小姐在努力下载圭贤的可爱片段~ XD），刚刚在车上给妈妈看到一个圭贤扮可爱然后害羞的录影，我妈看了都觉得他可爱~！哇哈哈！成就感~ :P

嗯哪嗯哪，还有就是SJ的Mini Drama，好多“Bromance”，萌死我~！圭贤你太帅了！还有艺声+利旭keopeul好可爱哦—！哇哈哈！笑死我~！还有一个叫Flowerboys，可怜的帅哥们被泼糞呀—— 呀圭贤，还好那个Mini Drama你不在~ (><)

我的动漫派partners们，听着哦！我会痴圭贤不代表我会把动漫都忽略掉呀~！毕竟动漫是我的灵魂、我的根~！动漫把我树立成今天的我，我绝对不会如忘掉豆皮的小豆！（哇，好直接的翻译~~ XD）更何况啊，我是1/4韩血，1/4和血，一次喜欢动漫帅哥又喜欢韩国帅哥并不是不可能哦~ 哎哎，毕竟我是非凡的女人嘛—— （对不，Lee Michelle? XD）

“……”

啮~~ 不知我说我是1/4韩血、1/4和血有谁会信呢？你们信么？XD

好啦，不要多说了~

哦呀！告诉你们个好消息~！ 我的Physics进步啊，多么一个美好的奇迹~
哎哎，神一般的我……真的太神了~！XD （呜哇~~神一般的自恋啊~ 哈哈！）

还有，那天我生日，我们的圭贤二号（Shun）通过FB message祝我生日快乐啊—— 虽然不是正版圭贤，也还是圭贤二号~ <3 请给我暗爽一下下啦~ :P

Ok 啦，打字都打得累了~
再一次祝我们神一般的陈欣怡一个神一般快乐的生日~！
Saengilchuka, 陈欣怡-shi~~! <3
希望我也可以成为像你一样忠实的SJ迷 (哈哈！）~！
前辈请多多指教~！

1/2 4Sc1 Holiday Practice~

A 3 min 27 second video of a few of us during the practice on the holiday Monday~

A DAY TO REMEMBER~! <3

"Won't you be my sweetest dream for life?"

有美琪，有团结……

温馨是灿烂的笑……

ELF团 + 颜慧玉

May Jee during the practice on Monday

It's the start of August, and I've recently turned 16~ Aside from discovering my new found passion for archery (thanks to bestie Jessie Tan), I've gathered quite a few depressed emotions of low self-esteem and paranoia of being alone... However, I won't get to that cause I'm quite cured now, thanks to Nii-sama who was there for me when I was this close to an emotional breakdown...

August, Summer, a hot, busy month. Exams are enclosing (not that I'm doing much to face it), a lot of classes to attend, a lot of homework to be done (I don't sleep earlier than 12am anymore~) and then there's... Gema Patriotik.

We've had Gema Patriotik for 2 years now. Aside from it taking up a lot of my time and effort, whether it's victory of loss, I felt distant enough from the class to not care. When it's over, it's over. And there's no way we'd be able to sing something in tune, we've NEVER done that for the past two years~ I always thought Gema Patriotik would be one of those things that didn't mean anything... It's one of those activities a school holds for no purposeful reason... I, honestly, never liked it... And why would I think otherwise this year, right?

We started practicing for Gema 2 weeks before the actual competition (which is actually TODAY) but really only started intense practice 1 week before today~ During the start, I seriously, hated it. Because again, it took my time and energy, and with the homework load mountain high lately, I didn't need any extra time taken from me... I practiced, for sure. People CAN sing unhappy, and I am one of those people...
This went on for days and days, Math period, Bio period, any extra time they can find, we practice. Well, it's not like I was reluctant every time, sure to me it was something I needed to do because THEY wanted to, but when there's no homework to be done, I really don't mind skipping lessons for Gema Patriotik. May Jee would be guiding us with all her might, coaching us, coming up with ideas for us to perform. She'd crack jokes, and do really ridiculous, funny stuff. Mm, that is expected from her, since she's always cheerful and full of life~ She was the kind of person who shines into your heart and leaves a ray of light. This might sound sentimental, but it really is true. Because every time she does something, I sense "original MayJee-ness" and that makes me want to smile. XD

She came up with so many great ideas, some even too big for us to handle. XD
Whether she got inspiration from cheerleading, choral speaking, Glee, anything! She made sure it was comfortable for all of us. She listened to our opinions wholeheartedly, and had all of us decide what was best for the performance. It wasn't just "her way", it was OUR WAY~  Why did she spend so much time doing so many stuff for us when we've pretty much given up hearing how great 4Sc2 were? Hmm, and then I realized just how special she was, and how special she could make this year be, since with so many opinions from so many people, it was gonna be a fusion of 40++ people, it was really an ORIGINAL "OUR WAY" ~ The 4Sc1 Way~ And then I thought to myself : "This is the way it's supposed to be."
I gradually made myself open up, and I tried to help as much as I can, considering how much a jerk I've always been (><). I was clear how little help I was, yet I really wanted to make this thing happen! True, it could be that up until today my contribution is the size of a peanut, and I DO feel guilty about it, but truly... the times during practice were beautiful~ Everyone supported each other and hmm, it actually did bring us together, me + Shi Yee + Hui Ru I mean~ You see sides of people you've never known, and for all you know, you'd like them even more for it.. At least, it's like that for me, I really do like Shi Yee and Hui Ru very much! (><) I gradually opened up further and helped May Jee with the parody (Teenage Dream), considering I can only do that much (^^")... But the others were opening up and helping too... like that Monday (a public holiday), when all of us (actually 20++ of us) came to school for practice~ (like in the photos)

Did you see the photos? Did you see what kind of person she is? To have us all listening attentively, to have us oblige to by will? Did you see the smiles on our faces? May Jee was that special a girl...and the only reason I took those photos was because I wanted to remember such happy times, and remember, "Wow, this girl changed my perception of Gema Patriotik~!" It's true that being with them, 4Sc1, makes you feel such indescribable happiness and acceptance. Hmm, and I'm beginning to accept that...with the right people, Gema  Patriotik ain't half bad~ ( > 3<)

Anyway, today was the competition... We came to school at 6a.m., although I did reach several minutes late (I do suffer from insomnia and I'm tired...) And do you know how many people reached around that time too...? 20++ people. How did 20 people find the resolve to come to school at such an early time for practice? Who does that??? (^^) People like us, of course, those who felt that connection and the happiness of teamwork... We practiced for a long time... though it all still seemed imperfect, it was almost time for competition, and so we made our way to the front of 3A5... One by one the classes performed, and we came closer to the platform and stage~

The time came when we made our way to the stage (which Nii-sama claims as his 2nd home). We looked to the left the whole time before receiving orders from Xian Wei to turn... 1,2 turn! We turned, faced the audience, and gained a round of applause?! Mwo?!?! Jinja?!?! Seriously, we haven't done anything yet!
We bowed, looked up, supposedly at the audience, but all of us know our eyes were fixed on our awesome conductor Seah Zhen Hong, whose talent has been recognised OVER AND OVER ~ ! It's true, I didn't realize until I got down from stage, but the whole time I was on stage, I couldn't tell who was in the audience, because I was only looking at the conductor. The anxiety, was so great, you wouldn't want to see anybody but him... We all put our faith in him, after all... (^^)

He brought us to the high pitches and low pitches with flawless tempo (although we were somewhat... flawful~ XD), and managed to get us to do everything so ... "harmoniously"~ Whether it was "Tanggal 31" itself, or the "Teenage Dream Parody" (which really caught others' attention XD), or "We <3 Malaysia" parts~ We were like targeting guns, locking our eyes on him, and he brought us there, just like all of us wanted to... It's like we're in practice again, and we knew that all we had to do was trust him... When he asked us to smile, nobody can defy, because we knew and we remembered, that we trust him, after all... NOTHING CAN GO WRONG with Zhen Hong as conductor (^^).

Things went better than expected, and before we knew it, our performance was over. And when we got an applause right after the end, it just made us all the more satisfied with ourselves, knowing we grabbed some attention and earned some of it to the finish... Right then, I dunno what I felt, but it was as though there was warmth in the heart, and your face feels so light you can wear a smile for hours~ You felt like launching your arms to hug your friends... That kind of happiness and satisfaction... Where did it come from? To be this happy before even knowing the results, it's ridiculous, but it is a happiness never felt before...

The smiles stayed on our faces for the whole day, and the weather was so nice it was like a gift to complement our feelings~ Pictures and memories were captured and taken, some engraved into the heart... My heart, at least.

If I were with any other, it's most unlikely to feel such happiness...
4Sc1, thanks so much for giving me a whole new life-changing experience~

Who would have thought, teamwork, modesty and a little bit of faith could push us so far, and make us feel so satiated?

Let's fight till the very end together,
HWAITING~! 

"You've got every right to a beautiful life ~~ "

Attention: When you start reading my blog, play this video first and read it while listening. You'll understand what I'm trying to convey better.

Was supposed to go to school today but I fell so ill I couldn't get out of bed... This is the first time I've felt this sick : FLU + COUGH + FEVER + GASTRIC + MIGRAINE ain't a good combination ... (==) You have no idea how wretched I feel... In fact, I've only just woken up 4 hours ago...

However, being stuck in bed has given me lots to think about...

I haven't left the room, or my bed for that matter, and it's not like I have much entertainment, plus it was raining too, so I cuddled in my bed and then my mind floated off somewhere...

...*...*...*...*...*...*

This might sound obsessive or whatever, but I actually thought about Shun again... (><) At times when I'm down and helpless like this, I actually took his letter and just stared at it... The words didn't register into my mind at all, it was as though I was just looking at it and observing the strokes of his words... My lack of consciousness made my mind wander away with just the help of the drips and drops of the lovely July shower, and soon before I knew it... My soul time-traveled back to 2 months ago...

I remembered that Wednesday when he first set foot on the school grounds, how the whole school started screaming and how the girls of my class became so excited... I remembered seeing Pn.Ong's expression when my classmates started screaming, I remembered how I couldn't see him because I was short-sighted :P But most of all, I remembered how cool I was NOT CARING.

I could still hear my own voice at Eng Choon Block that recess, at the balcony right opposite the Form 1 classes... I could still remember Yeo-san introducing us to each other, with Shun standing so close, just in front of me... I could remember his face and outlines so clearly, I could remember the first words "Yoroshiku" that came out of my mouth. I saw his startled face for the first time when I did a 90 degee bow. He bowed back and muttered the same words to me, and I was so delightfully happy he actually understood me... That little bit of confidence I gained from that day still lives inside me up till now...

And then, my mind reached it's next destination —— the memories of the first Japanese class I attended with him. I still remembered that it was a Tuesday, because we had so much fun watching the younger kids do a role play... Yeo-san considered me a "senpai" ("sunbae" in Korean, “学长” in Chinese, "senior" in English) because of my...longer experience with the language than any other person in my class and threw me to Shun's side (Oh My God, I was abandoned! >< ), thus forcing me to sit with him and converse with him. I remembered telling myself :

"Oh Lord, kill me now... (==)"

I remembered bestie Lee Michelle blaming me for leaving her... But I guess I did stay with him a little too long... (><)

However that Tuesday didn't go as bad as I thought it would. It was really awkward at first, but then there was that dried leaf that floated into the classroom and onto the centre of our tables, which we curiously stared at for several seconds, which actually, lightened up our moods with a bit of laughter (^^) Thank you, Happa-san (葉-san XD) !

I remembered how absent-minded and innocently 'me' I was. I was that girl that he remembered for laughing and smiling a lot, that girl who ripped leaves when she was nervous, that girl who was forever curious and talking to herself a lot... (><) All in all, he remembered me because I was... an awkward idjit (idiot)... But if that's how I became memorable, shouldn't I be lucky I AM this way? That was what I've been thinking about this whole afternoon, when I was stuck in bed...

Come to think about it... Didn't Nii-sama also became friends with me because of how STUPID I was last year? Didn't everyone become friends with me because of how true I was to myself? Wasn't life so much easier and meaningful because they accepted me for me?
According to astrology and horoscopes, Leos are... yes, bossy, prideful, leader-ish, but we're also sincere when it comes to feelings, and just like how the manes on the lions are so big and obvious, like the sun, we also have a flair in being bright and vivid and making people smile...
If I really have this ability, why on Earth do I feel that I have to envy other people's lives and wish I could be like them?

Because I was still like when I was Std 1, I still had friends like Yee Wen and Yin Geok.

Because I was straightforward and honest, and sometimes easy to fool (hence Khin Yew fooled me into revealing my crush during std 4), I had friends like Khin Yew.

Because we shared a heart and a brain; we were same yet different, I had friends like Jessie.

Because I was so much like the girl that leads shoujo mangas and naturally had a flair of making people smile, I had friends like Nii-sama, Lee Michelle, Chern Hou, XinYi, Rima and Rui Yuan...

Because I so easily opened up and approached all that are trustworthy, I had friends like Ann-ie and Jia Yih~ (^^)

and...

because I spoke his language and tried my best for him, Shun remembers me up till the last day he stayed here.

So what am I still unsatisfied about?
If I were anyone else, maybe I wouldn't have had such good friends.
If I were anyone else, maybe I would have grown up to be a total bitch.
If I were anyone else, maybe I wouldn't have known Japanese, neither their language or culture.
If I were anyone else, maybe I'd never have watched Bleach and I'd never have my Nii-sama.
If I were anyone else, maybe I would have went to a different school and I'd never have the friends I have now.
If I were anyone else, maybe I wouldn't have had any memories with Shun at all...

You see, life is what you make it. Everything that has been going on with your life is all the consequences from your own actions and decisions, and how you make the best out of your life. It's true that life's sometimes bitter and you might have regrets, hey, even I do, but just think... If you were anyone else, you could have been much worse.
Maybe if you were someone else, you would have been less loved?
Maybe if you were someone else, you'd never have people you could trust?
Life may be bitter, but I'm sure all of us have made decisions that have brought us happiness, right?

Well, I dunno if I managed to convey anything, but one thing's for sure...

I'm sure there's many things, you'd like to change about yourself, but when it comes to me, I wouldn't wanna be anybody else... 

Someday, all of you, should be able to sing this...

纯情 Romance

Annyeong~ It's been hell a long time since I've last updated my blog haven't I? Well, nothing can be done. I was pretty busy with all the consecutive sport events and extra classes after all...

If you guys check your calendars, you'll see that this post is dated 6th of July, which happens to be Shun's last day in Malaysia. I wonder if you guys remember? (^^) Yes well, I haven't seen him for a long time now, although he came to my class for his 1st and last English period with us. I suppose it was fun, although it was embarrassing for me, being the translator and all. Fortunately it was only for a short few minutes (^^), but overall I had fun because we didn't have homework :P

*sighs* Listen, there's no point in making this post all smiles and laughter because I pretty much lost that flair a long time ago... It's July, and I'm supposed to be glad that my birthday is coming and all... and I'm also really touched that my Nii-sama remembers my birthday so accurately, but I just don't know why, at times, my whole life just feels so empty. I feel like a soulless vessel, hollow and meaningless... I could be smiling and cracking jokes a moment before, and then feel so lonely after. It's as though everything in my life has suddenly been whirled away, and for those long torturing moments, I can hardly feel anything at all... I used to be able to know I wanted to cry, I used to know what a smile from the heart felt like... now I'm oblivious to my own life. It's like a sudden blackout, when I can see nothing, and I get so scared... Does any of you even know what it feels like? To not be able to feel anything???

A few days ago, I started to wonder if this had anything to do with Shun going back to where he belongs... I always felt that him being here, was, unreal to me. His existence was like, when I read a comic book... I knew from the start he was real, real enough for me to be able to spent wonderful times with him, but aside from all of that, he was still, ethereal~ I took the past 2 months as a dream, a dream I can just wake up from the next morning and act like everything was back to normal... But maybe, have I gotten attached?

That leaf that flew in from the window...

The first laugh I heard from him....

All the smiles we shared...

And all the fun times he wanted to have with me,

The memories he wanted to remember about me...

They were all supposed to be... a dream, a fantasy I could wake up from... But with things as it is now, I'm trying so hard to wake up when I subconsciously might not want to... At times like this I feel selfish enough to the extent of wishing he could stay HERE. I want to feel

THE EXCITEMENT....

THE ANXIETY....

THE HAPPINESS...

THE JEALOUSY...

I want to feel it all, because at least I could feel myself feeling something... I want it all. When my heartbeat starts racing and my cheeks turn bright red... no, they don't feel good, but it so beats feeling nothing......

So am I actually blue about him leaving...? Didn't I know that he would leave from the start?
No, perhaps him leaving ain't the issue here...
It's probably this yearning for him to stay here, it's probably the regret of not having enough courage when I was around him, it's probably the hatred I feel towards myself for changing when the old me was what got us closer in the first place...

I was relaxed. Easy. Lively. Innocent.
I was... a better person.
I just don't get why I changed when the old me was so true and real with him. I don't get why I changed, I don't get how I changed... But I became so passive and so shy, everything I said turned out to be the shortest sentence I've ever spoken to someone... There were so many things I wanted to say to him, but something kept me from doing so... Something made me so self conscious, something made me feel I was an idiot in his presence, something made me feel so scared he was going to hate such a foolish me, something stopped me from talking to him... I kept quiet, I kept all I wanted to say IN, for 2 months......

I realized this lack of courage wasn't going to do me any good, so 2 days ago, I wrote him a letter...

I thought, since this was the last time I'll ever get to tell him anything again, I might as well pour out all my thoughts in that letter... Besides, I'm at my best when I have my pen... It was difficult for me, cause I kept thinking of how it'd be a hindrance, and a pain for him to read because...my Japanese ain't perfect, but I gave it my all... Who cares if the letter showed how stupid I was! It wasn't like he's ever going to see me again... Maybe one day we'll look back and laugh at my stupidity... (^^) I poured out my soul into that letter, baked for him, and went to the temple for him... If the letter doesn't convey anything, I was hoping at least my prayers would be with him.

Maybe the regrets of me just admiring him from afar for 2 whole months would continue to haunt me for years and years to come, but in the end I did try to do something...

I know, when he goes back tomorrow, my life would be back to normal...
(Well, it doesn't look very normal now does it?)
*sighs* I never liked saying goodbyes, especially when there's no chance of meeting again. So, lemme just say :

Goodnight...
I'll miss you...
But it's time, I woke up...

Back To School~

Annyeonghaseyo! (^^) Well, it was the 1st day of school today~ Miraculously, my mum managed to bring me there pretty early today and I met up with my "yeon-in" (恋人）—— 吴佳瑜 right after I reached the school~ <3
It's been 14 days since I last saw my friends, it's really great to see them all again, but that just means one thing: the 2nd school semester starts now... *sighs*

Anyway, the new school principal came today. It was a "she" actually, from afar, I thought I saw Sejarah teacher, Pn Soh :P I hear she's pretty strict and everything, but I gotta say, she's got the "principal-esque" style~ White long sleeved blouse and a black skirt, and her hair was like...curled and then tied into a ponytail. Seriously, if you watched English Movies in the 90-s, that was pretty much what she looked like, "90-s English principal-esque", which was pretty awesome actually~
I eventually saw the Choral Speaking performance today that everyone was working hard for, I believe it is okay, though I couldn't really hear part of their speech, but they did nail "SUPERMUM" well~ :P I don't know, it's just a little weird...good, but weird. (><) Oh! However Zhen Hong was pretty awesome as conductor! (^^) Well, that's what you'd expected from someone who's been a conductor all his life right? Damn, he was SOOOOO AWESOME! <3

Hmm~ After the performance, we went back to class, changed our seats. You know, it's pretty much something to look forward to every few weeks when we change our seats~ The rotation enables us to sit with new people every few cycles~ Today, apparently, I get the seat below the fan, yeah! :P Ah~ and on my right side is Yee Wen. Sure brings back memories for when we used to sit together in elementary school~ (^^) They were childish, good memories though~ I dunno why, but we used to talk about "Super Mario", haha... And then there were several English songs that we sang together... and there was that worm thing we used to talk about... WHAT THE HELL WAS UP WITH THAT? (==) ... Anyway, when you look back, those times were pretty awesome. And back in the elementary school days, there was always a constant rotation of the 1st, 2nd and 3rd place between Yin Geok, Me and Yee Wen~ Haiz, why can't high school be as easy as elementary school? (T^T) ... Whoa! Come to think of it, I've been in the same class with Rachel and Yee Wen for 10 years now! That, in some way, has gotta be cool!

Anyway, the timetable for today has changed, so the 1st period was BC, but the whole class didn't bring any Chinese books. The teacher got pissed off and had us do our own things, and then... the TEST PAPERS of DOOM were launched at us~~ You know just how doomed you are once you get your papers~ ( = 3=) Anyway, me and Yee Wen were like super chuak, and I was so scared I waited 5 minutes before actually looking at my marks. I stared at the back of my exam paper, and Yee Wen was like
"你看了吗？"
Me：“还没有——！(><)”
I finally summoned up my courage and flipped the paper to reveal my marks... it was... an inverted 99 —— 66！（T^T）Oh well~ At least it was better than the 64% I got last time... But... that was just part of the paper~ There was another paper we tested for, which was to be combined with the paper I received just now and divide it by 2 (I think...). That's how we get the actual marks. I waited anxiously for the other paper to reach me... In the end I got...... another 66% (==) What's the point of adding 66% to 66% and dividing it by 2 if the marks is still gonna be 66% ANYWAY! Hence, the conclusion is:
Bahasa Cina = 66% (T^T)
Oh well... better than 64%... I'm thankful enough.

After BC, we had BM... (T^T)... Like I said, I couldn't finish my Paper 2, but...! Miraculous enough, many people didn't do so well even though they finished it, and so it was just the same whether I finished my paper or not. *sighs* Although...how do I tell my parents I got a 59% for BM? (TT) Why couldn't it have been a 60% at least?! It would have made the message much easier to convey... Oh, why did I get Gokudera's number?

After BM was Chemistry~ Another subject I suck in... though I suck in Physikos' most~ (!@#$%^&* Physics!) Good enough, I got an 84%~ :P Lucky me lar! Considering I read manga when I study! :P
We had an early recess, and after recess was our Maths~ I know I wouldn't fail Math so I was a bit relaxed. I got a 94% because of careless mistakes, and my "formula-less but full of answers" Venn Diagram... Damn... Oh well, at least I actually got something with a 9 as the first digit... (T^T) So happy!

Sejarah was next... The quizzes Pn Soh gave us helped a lot so I wasn't too worried. I got a 91% <3 though the highest mark was 100%~ Sugoi ne~~ 羡慕-ing... But 91% ain't so bad. I could have got 94% but I had 2 careless mistakes at the objective section... Hell, thinking back truly MAKES ME WANNA CRY! (TT TT) If only I was a bit more careful!

After Sejarah, we had our last period for the day —— BIO!!! Bio has gotta be the best Science I'm in! Although my best doesn't mean I'm SUPER awesome in it~ ( = 3=) *sighs*
Anyway, I got an 84%, that's gotta signify something right? It's an A, not an A+, whatever! It's still an A ! This is as far as I can go to console myself for going to flunk Physics and getting a stupid 59% for my BM~ I feel guilty towards my tuition teacher. But it's not that I dunno how to do, I just don't have the time!
(TT) ...Oh, as though explaining would make me feel better... *mushrooms in a corner* Oh yeah! Yee Wen got a freakin' 93% for his Bio! That was SO, TOTALLY INSANE! He is awesome! (><)

So, my latest records are:
BC : 66%
Chem: 83%
BM: 59%
MM: 94%
SEJ: 91%
BIO: 84%

(><) Well, as thrilling as it was to get my test results today, sitting with Yee Wen brought back sweet elementary school memories, and seeing that we can still get along makes me all the more happier :P We talked about the past a bit, and I even found out that Zhen Hong, Hui Si, Yee Wen and I were originally nominated for 模范生 during elementary school! Although ZhenHong and HuiSi were chosen at last... Talking to him, it's like the good old days, only now I'm not 6, I'm 16! （^^）I wonder what made us grow separate seeing as we were such close friends back in the days and we can still be... Hmm, I dunno~ All I know is, reliving childhood memories...doesn't seem so bad after all.

Hey old friends, new friends, seriously:
Friends Forever ya??? (^^)

Goodbye, Holidays~

Remember how I almost died during the 2 weeks of exams and how I was brought back to life with 2 weeks of holidays? Yeah well... Today's the last day of my 14-day break, so tomorrow, it'll be back to school again... (TT) ... Hmm, maybe I should smile considering Shun's gonna be our classmate starting tomorrow?

Anyway, I didn't do much with my holidays. Aside from doing chores OCCASIONALLY, I spend ALL of my time in front of the computer screen checking out hot guys :P ... Okay, not hot guys, hot anime guys, ok? I also used one day to re-watch all of Sekaiichi Hatsukoi （世界一初恋），a really SUPER anime NOT for random kids to watch, although...there's nothing wrong with watching it no matter what age you are really~ All I know is it's a real eye-candy for Fujoshis' （腐女子）, people like me. ...... Yeah yeah, judge away~

Now, aside from Haruka Minami, I suppose there is another awesome mangaka I love --- Takatsuki Noboru! He/She (not sure ><) illustrated the images for "Hanamachi Monogatari", a Japanese game I most recently played (wanted to play the Chinese version, but there were download problems = 3=). OMG!!! Shuri （朱璃）!!! <3 <3 <3 I don't believe it~ Now that the hols are over, there's no way I'd get chances to play it now, could I? (T^T) Oh Shuri~~ *sobs sobs* "We must now part, though I will be with you soon, my love~" ...... Okay, that was too much Shakespeare... *clears throat*
Anyway!!! I bought another set of manga, illustrated by Takatsuki Noboru (Chara Cafe Relish ni Oide) It was...kinda worth it, I guess. (^^)
And so, you pretty much know what I've been doing for 14 days~

Okay, yesterday (Saturday), was like... I dunno, the most expensive day of my life. In the morning, they woke me up...at 11am... (yes, I don't get out of bed as long as I'm hugging my bolster, because it's so soft and fluffy, I love it!) *hugs bolster* (>u<), and then the whole family went to Aeon Jusco... for HOT POT! <3 There is nothing I love more than seafood, soup and "kinoko"! I LOVE MUSHROOMS!After we were done with the CHOU-AWESOME (超awesome) meal, I went to Comic Paradise ... (hoping to buy manga? XD ) ... and ended up getting hit-on by random guys I dunno (= 3=)... They were like "Sexy ar~~", I pretended as though I wasn't listening. ... Maybe it was my fault for wearing those jean shorts... ( = 3=) They WERE pretty short... But I love them! (><)

I ended up not buying anything from Comic Paradise because there weren't any of my favourite mangakas' work and I've read most of the manga~ (Hmm, even Joshua knows I'm a manga-maniac XD). I went to Nokia Store with my mum and saw a super beautiful Nokia N8!
I was like "OMG! This is so pretty!"
My mum: "What's this?"
Me: "I dunno, but IT'S PRETTY!"
The salesman approached us and showed us the functions of N8, and honey, you practically don't need a laptop or a TV if you have N8! I mean, you can watch videos online (I mean TV3, 8TV and things), take clear pics with the 12MP camera, plus the video application is like watching TV in HD, SERIOUSLY! My mum fell in love with the handphone, eventhough I wanted it, and bought it for herself.
I was like "I saw it first. You walked right past it searching for an Iphone!"
My mum laughed and went on to buy the phone, and I was sulking... because N8 is awesome okay?! ... My mum then asked me to check out the others, that was cheaper than hers... I went around playing eveything in the store, and then decided on Nokia E5. I mean, she doesn't know my results yet, and I know my results might be "failing marks", so out of guilt, I just chose E5, since I'm still young and using my mum's money. It'd be really...irresponsible to just have her buy things so expensive for me. So...my mum bought me the E5 (^^).
I love you, mummy! <3
I swear I'll work hard! (^^)

Okay, I wanna sell my Nokia 6120. I bought it around RM400, so I think I'll sell for RM150?
- It's pink, and it's not very pretty, but I think you can change the casing.
- I've never dropped my phone before, and it's in good condition (cause I take care of it so well ma~~ XD).
- It comes with a charger, earphones, USB cable (for PC to HP download and vice versa) + manual.
- 2MP Camera (but really good) + a secondary camera for easy 自拍-ing + Memory Card slot (which means  it can support nGB memory card)
- Functions include dictionary, music player, Real player, Adobe, recorder, IMChat, radio, Flash player. There's also Internet access but I don't quite like it lar.

...This was me during the holidays...

I'd upload a picture of my Nokia 6120 someday, but now I'm just too busy (><)

Had a fun time chatting with my Nii-sama today (^^) It's been such a long time since we've talked. Love ya~ <3

Also, facing timetable probs... Dunno which schedule should be used tomorrow...? (><)

Argh~ My bedtime is almost here.
Tomorrow's back to school!
No... My results... (T^T) NO!!!!!!

*sob sob*

Goodbye, Holidays... 

BM Kertas 2 = *SHIT*

哇—— 我有够久没update blog的咯~ 是有很多东西说，不过最近忙着应付考试（其实是忙着想应付考试、却往往被Technology给诱惑了，有够糟—— TT），所以就没时间update了咯~ 之前发生了好多趣事，不过还是等假期的时候再记述吧~ 今天只说今天的事哦~ (^^) 包你们获益不浅！XD

哎，今天第一天考试，考得是国文，所以对我来说压力没多大~ (><) 昨天还睡了个大懒觉才醒来吃晚餐，然后就忙着玩电话的game，不到晚上十点不温习~ 温习总算成功，所以在凌晨12点睡下去了，一直到今天早上心情一直很不错……一直到那恐怖的早上8时30分……

KERTAS 2，开始！！！一开始作答，我简直就想死掉～第一面是Rumusan，不知说啥鬼MyID的东东，害我看了30分钟也不懂是啥鬼。我翻到最后一面，看看出题老师是谁，然后在心里暗骂她：“死老师，出这种题目。” 然后才继续做~ 我乱乱找出几个isi，然后马马虎虎写了我的很失败的Rumusan~ 再翻到第二面，做pemahaman，这个还勉强应付得来，随着就做了三题Komsas，题目真的害我很乱，所以等我做完Komsas只剩下半小时了，而且Tatabahasa和Novel也还没做！！！

我顿时……PANIC了起来！！！一开始做tatabahasa就出了问题，I mean……What the hell is "tepok"?! And so，我乱乱造了个句子，我可以确定一定错！然后造句后就是mencerakinkan ayat，害得我眼花缭乱，所以我直接skip掉~ （= 3=）接下来呢就有三题Kenalpasti Kesalahan Dalam Ayat，我kenalpasti了几个，又有几个找不到，所以也skip掉~ 然后E项的Peribahasa，虽然明白它意思，也什么都没做，skip掉！！！ (TT) 我在5分钟内做完了两题Novel（对不起老师，请原谅我写的字体——），15分内多多少少也有5分吧！呜呜—— 看看时钟得知还有2分钟，我就尝试去mencerakinkan ayat, 乱乱cerakin了4句，然后时间到——！Yes…… 我空住的题目sibeh多~ （= 3=）…… 真是欲哭无泪…… 啊~ 这样啊，bet是我赢定了，死党李蜜儿小姐~ 我真的赢定了~ 这非谦虚的行为，只是事实，yes，一个让人崩溃的事实…… 噢噢，我们的打赌，是赌谁的成绩比较差，所以胜者的分数比败者的低……算是种安慰吧…… (TT) OMG……我死定了……

下课后时BM Kertas 1，这还算过得去吧—— 多亏补习抄了不少petikan terpilih，所以还算写得到不错的作文，至于切不切题我一无所知—— 可是我怎么想都觉得我的Kertas 1总比Kertas 2好吧—— 我的Kertas 2简直就是Shit！屎！Haiz, now I know that when you do shit, you get stuck in deep shit too... (TT) Beh tahan ad... This shit is worse than the shit I did the last time... Argh，Form 4 sucks!!! (TT) *sob sob* .......

哎哎，不过今天去了日语学会，就得到了一种欣慰~ 今天小俊有在，这么久没看到他，才发现原来对他有一点点的想念啊~ 哎~~ 糟了糟了，人家回日本去我怎么办呢？……嗨…… 今天去上日文课的只有我一个中四学徒，坐在最后面（最emo）的位子做自己的东西，然后Yeo-san过来告诉我，假期后小俊confirm来我们班哦！我的Surat Rasmi果然没有失败过，欣慰！！！XD Yeo-san还问我Miss Tan是怎样的老师，我说她教课的方法有包括唱歌的时候，Yeo-san的脸顿时亮了起来，好像放下了一大重担似的~ 不过啊，俊来我们班的事可要保密哦，Yeo-san 说的~ 啊啊，所以你们不要乱传出去哦~~ (^^) ……嗨……可是啊，我们现在换时间表了怎么办？！（〉〈）8天后就拿得回旧时间表么？！啊！！！ 事情若不顺利的话，怎么感觉好像一切都会是我的错呢？压力——

嗯啊~ 然后呢，有人就问俊prom的事，他说他想去可是没人陪~ （==”）这算是问题么？他只要一开口有谁会拒绝么！？ 哎哎—— 他最后得到了一个解决方法，那就是……
在Facebook上问有谁愿意陪他~ XD
所以啊美丽的育中少女们，想和王子去prom的话，就快点在Facebook等他post在status那里吧~！哎哎，我也没有想去的打算，不过他去的话我当天去Duty PA也不错~~ Jason你允许么？（= 3=）

嗯—— Prom的事情解决了后，我就坐到后面那个emo位， 继续做日文班的功课。俊走过来，在我身边站了好久，我疑惑地看着他（是想要他走开，因为他有在的话我就会紧张，然后我就会做错，then他就会看到！啊！！！>< 丢脸！），他也看着我，我们对视了很久，然后他就假装扑过来，害我chuak到一下！(><) 他看到我的反应就大笑了起来，我在那一刹那一定是红彤的了~ 我还没有镇定下来他靠近了一点，顺手拿在我身边的扇子，用戏弄的语调说：“谢谢你~”
我：“啊，喂~~~！><" 他把扇子打开，走到Yeo-san前面替自己扇呀扇风，Yeo-san就问他扇子是谁的，啊啊，然后就没听到俊说什么（因为我在做功课），过后Yeo-san就说：“啊~ Samantha-san的~” 啊啊，所以说，难道俊会讲我名字么？（= 3=）無理！

然后呢，老师又来了，耍他最经典的招术 —— 叫俊改我的书 (==")……  他又坐在我旁边，改我的书，而我超级紧张的在那边玩扇子~~ （><）Oh god he's so cute~~ OMG! <3 Dilamun cinta...? XD 改完了后，我们两个人静静地坐在一起（啊！尴尬尴尬尴尬！），非常不自在的我终于决定去告诉Yeo-san玉杰叫我邀请俊去St.John Dreamz Camp的事（总好过在俊隔壁讲不出话吧？！）~ 俊当天有别的计划（参与St David 双生姐妹的生日派对），不过是在下午的时候。他说他会尽力出席，过后我又想到他要去Dreamz Camp，得要有翻译员才行吧？所以我告诉Yeo-san说：
“老师，他有去的话，你要跟着他去哦~ 因为我没有去~ ><”
Yeo-san 就很干脆地说：“哎呀—— 你没有去酱他去来做什么？”
我：“啊~ 这是我帮朋友问的~ 我本来就没去~”
Yeo-san：“你去啦~ 不然他去了没有意思~”
班上：“没有意思——？！” 有些很chuak，有些想笑~
我：“Yeo-san~~ 我去还是没去都没意思—— ==”
Yeo-san：“你try去啦~”
我：“可是我不是St John的~ 我本来就不能去~”
Form 5 的Yuki Chong赞成~
Yeo-san：“酱你会去还是不会去？他在等你现在~”
我：“……我不是St John的，我不可以去~”
不过啊，俊还是尽量会去的，不过要先搞好camp的资料再告诉他，他再打算~ (><)
啊啊—— 多一件好消息~ 5月28号，他或许会和你们去看Super Junior!!! 注：是Super Junior!!! 佳瑜开心了吧？日本人去看SUPER JUNIOR哦~~ 不是少女时代哦~~ 佳瑜开心了吧？^^

啊啊~ 然后，我和俊花了不少（但又不多）时间谈日本动画、日本歌曲、还有我唱歌他都听到了~ （==“）算是无意中被他听到的吧，因为他在跟我讲话而我因为在翻译歌词一直唱着那一段曲~ （= 3=）哇哈哈！和帅哥谈动画很好玩~ XD 还有我还要和他抢那张Ash Like Snow的歌词！（><）当然没真正用力去抢啦~ 我的纸破掉就有！我看他大概是啥动画都知道吧，而且还是一个相当忠实的Gundam粉丝吧！
哎，总之就很好玩咯~ 真的很好玩~ Chu~ <3

我们就这样玩到4点~ 然后在回去之前，我因为紧张，说话说不出口，就在白板上写了5个字：
“Aoi uchiwa” （蓝色扇子）接着再写 “ageru?” （送？）
他头上冒出很多问号~ （><）而我又像白痴酱讲不出话！然后我想到一个字，就在白板上写：
“Okurimono” （礼物）
他这下明白了，yes！就说：“啊，没关系~ 谢谢你~”
And his smile's so handsome~~ <3 OMG, faint ad, faint ad!!! (><) I melt ad, melt ad~ *stuck in my girlie love situations* Argh, he's so awesome!!! Ok  ok, calm down~ *inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale* Ok~ (^^) ... (>u<) <3

And then he walked out of class and waited for whoever was left in the class~ Form 5's Yuki followed him out, then I came out later, he stuck his leg out and attempted to trip me! BULLY!!! (><) I paused before I ... tripped over his foot, then he took his foot back and laughed~ After that, he stuck his leg out again to show me what he was doing just now~ (==") He's just adorable~ Oh My God.

Oh oh, Shun likes to play with Yeo-san's stomach~ ( = 3=) He's obviously trying to show Yeo-san's tummy~ (==") And he so innocently plays with it nobody can ever, ever, EVER, get mad at him~ I mean like seriously, he smiles so innocently when he does the thing with the tummy~ I almost melted (><) ~ And Yeo-san likes to say "I'm so busy~~" and sometimes he just sits down doing nothing and says that~ So I was like: "(-_=) Busy...?" And Shun totally gets what I mean by that tone of voice, and he laughs and repeats "Busy~~"

Oh yeah, did I also say random strangers have been talking to me often now? (O。O）And just yesterday while I was eating ice-cream with Ann, 2 Malay juniors were staring at me... (==") Freaky~ Eh, I'm not complaining~ It's nice meeting new friends~（︿︿）　

Ok lar~ There's BC exam tmr~ (Dear God, I wonder what shit I'm gonna do tomorrow! And Shun won't be there to make it feel better... What do I do...?) Aiz... Gotta study one way or the other~

Till the freakin' next time,
Ciao~