"Won't you be my sweetest dream for life?"

有美琪，有团结……

温馨是灿烂的笑……

ELF团 + 颜慧玉

May Jee during the practice on Monday

It's the start of August, and I've recently turned 16~ Aside from discovering my new found passion for archery (thanks to bestie Jessie Tan), I've gathered quite a few depressed emotions of low self-esteem and paranoia of being alone... However, I won't get to that cause I'm quite cured now, thanks to Nii-sama who was there for me when I was this close to an emotional breakdown...

August, Summer, a hot, busy month. Exams are enclosing (not that I'm doing much to face it), a lot of classes to attend, a lot of homework to be done (I don't sleep earlier than 12am anymore~) and then there's... Gema Patriotik.

We've had Gema Patriotik for 2 years now. Aside from it taking up a lot of my time and effort, whether it's victory of loss, I felt distant enough from the class to not care. When it's over, it's over. And there's no way we'd be able to sing something in tune, we've NEVER done that for the past two years~ I always thought Gema Patriotik would be one of those things that didn't mean anything... It's one of those activities a school holds for no purposeful reason... I, honestly, never liked it... And why would I think otherwise this year, right?

We started practicing for Gema 2 weeks before the actual competition (which is actually TODAY) but really only started intense practice 1 week before today~ During the start, I seriously, hated it. Because again, it took my time and energy, and with the homework load mountain high lately, I didn't need any extra time taken from me... I practiced, for sure. People CAN sing unhappy, and I am one of those people...
This went on for days and days, Math period, Bio period, any extra time they can find, we practice. Well, it's not like I was reluctant every time, sure to me it was something I needed to do because THEY wanted to, but when there's no homework to be done, I really don't mind skipping lessons for Gema Patriotik. May Jee would be guiding us with all her might, coaching us, coming up with ideas for us to perform. She'd crack jokes, and do really ridiculous, funny stuff. Mm, that is expected from her, since she's always cheerful and full of life~ She was the kind of person who shines into your heart and leaves a ray of light. This might sound sentimental, but it really is true. Because every time she does something, I sense "original MayJee-ness" and that makes me want to smile. XD

She came up with so many great ideas, some even too big for us to handle. XD
Whether she got inspiration from cheerleading, choral speaking, Glee, anything! She made sure it was comfortable for all of us. She listened to our opinions wholeheartedly, and had all of us decide what was best for the performance. It wasn't just "her way", it was OUR WAY~  Why did she spend so much time doing so many stuff for us when we've pretty much given up hearing how great 4Sc2 were? Hmm, and then I realized just how special she was, and how special she could make this year be, since with so many opinions from so many people, it was gonna be a fusion of 40++ people, it was really an ORIGINAL "OUR WAY" ~ The 4Sc1 Way~ And then I thought to myself : "This is the way it's supposed to be."
I gradually made myself open up, and I tried to help as much as I can, considering how much a jerk I've always been (><). I was clear how little help I was, yet I really wanted to make this thing happen! True, it could be that up until today my contribution is the size of a peanut, and I DO feel guilty about it, but truly... the times during practice were beautiful~ Everyone supported each other and hmm, it actually did bring us together, me + Shi Yee + Hui Ru I mean~ You see sides of people you've never known, and for all you know, you'd like them even more for it.. At least, it's like that for me, I really do like Shi Yee and Hui Ru very much! (><) I gradually opened up further and helped May Jee with the parody (Teenage Dream), considering I can only do that much (^^")... But the others were opening up and helping too... like that Monday (a public holiday), when all of us (actually 20++ of us) came to school for practice~ (like in the photos)

Did you see the photos? Did you see what kind of person she is? To have us all listening attentively, to have us oblige to by will? Did you see the smiles on our faces? May Jee was that special a girl...and the only reason I took those photos was because I wanted to remember such happy times, and remember, "Wow, this girl changed my perception of Gema Patriotik~!" It's true that being with them, 4Sc1, makes you feel such indescribable happiness and acceptance. Hmm, and I'm beginning to accept that...with the right people, Gema  Patriotik ain't half bad~ ( > 3<)

Anyway, today was the competition... We came to school at 6a.m., although I did reach several minutes late (I do suffer from insomnia and I'm tired...) And do you know how many people reached around that time too...? 20++ people. How did 20 people find the resolve to come to school at such an early time for practice? Who does that??? (^^) People like us, of course, those who felt that connection and the happiness of teamwork... We practiced for a long time... though it all still seemed imperfect, it was almost time for competition, and so we made our way to the front of 3A5... One by one the classes performed, and we came closer to the platform and stage~

The time came when we made our way to the stage (which Nii-sama claims as his 2nd home). We looked to the left the whole time before receiving orders from Xian Wei to turn... 1,2 turn! We turned, faced the audience, and gained a round of applause?! Mwo?!?! Jinja?!?! Seriously, we haven't done anything yet!
We bowed, looked up, supposedly at the audience, but all of us know our eyes were fixed on our awesome conductor Seah Zhen Hong, whose talent has been recognised OVER AND OVER ~ ! It's true, I didn't realize until I got down from stage, but the whole time I was on stage, I couldn't tell who was in the audience, because I was only looking at the conductor. The anxiety, was so great, you wouldn't want to see anybody but him... We all put our faith in him, after all... (^^)

He brought us to the high pitches and low pitches with flawless tempo (although we were somewhat... flawful~ XD), and managed to get us to do everything so ... "harmoniously"~ Whether it was "Tanggal 31" itself, or the "Teenage Dream Parody" (which really caught others' attention XD), or "We <3 Malaysia" parts~ We were like targeting guns, locking our eyes on him, and he brought us there, just like all of us wanted to... It's like we're in practice again, and we knew that all we had to do was trust him... When he asked us to smile, nobody can defy, because we knew and we remembered, that we trust him, after all... NOTHING CAN GO WRONG with Zhen Hong as conductor (^^).

Things went better than expected, and before we knew it, our performance was over. And when we got an applause right after the end, it just made us all the more satisfied with ourselves, knowing we grabbed some attention and earned some of it to the finish... Right then, I dunno what I felt, but it was as though there was warmth in the heart, and your face feels so light you can wear a smile for hours~ You felt like launching your arms to hug your friends... That kind of happiness and satisfaction... Where did it come from? To be this happy before even knowing the results, it's ridiculous, but it is a happiness never felt before...

The smiles stayed on our faces for the whole day, and the weather was so nice it was like a gift to complement our feelings~ Pictures and memories were captured and taken, some engraved into the heart... My heart, at least.

If I were with any other, it's most unlikely to feel such happiness...
4Sc1, thanks so much for giving me a whole new life-changing experience~

Who would have thought, teamwork, modesty and a little bit of faith could push us so far, and make us feel so satiated?

Let's fight till the very end together,
HWAITING~! 

"You've got every right to a beautiful life ~~ "

Attention: When you start reading my blog, play this video first and read it while listening. You'll understand what I'm trying to convey better.

Was supposed to go to school today but I fell so ill I couldn't get out of bed... This is the first time I've felt this sick : FLU + COUGH + FEVER + GASTRIC + MIGRAINE ain't a good combination ... (==) You have no idea how wretched I feel... In fact, I've only just woken up 4 hours ago...

However, being stuck in bed has given me lots to think about...

I haven't left the room, or my bed for that matter, and it's not like I have much entertainment, plus it was raining too, so I cuddled in my bed and then my mind floated off somewhere...

...*...*...*...*...*...*

This might sound obsessive or whatever, but I actually thought about Shun again... (><) At times when I'm down and helpless like this, I actually took his letter and just stared at it... The words didn't register into my mind at all, it was as though I was just looking at it and observing the strokes of his words... My lack of consciousness made my mind wander away with just the help of the drips and drops of the lovely July shower, and soon before I knew it... My soul time-traveled back to 2 months ago...

I remembered that Wednesday when he first set foot on the school grounds, how the whole school started screaming and how the girls of my class became so excited... I remembered seeing Pn.Ong's expression when my classmates started screaming, I remembered how I couldn't see him because I was short-sighted :P But most of all, I remembered how cool I was NOT CARING.

I could still hear my own voice at Eng Choon Block that recess, at the balcony right opposite the Form 1 classes... I could still remember Yeo-san introducing us to each other, with Shun standing so close, just in front of me... I could remember his face and outlines so clearly, I could remember the first words "Yoroshiku" that came out of my mouth. I saw his startled face for the first time when I did a 90 degee bow. He bowed back and muttered the same words to me, and I was so delightfully happy he actually understood me... That little bit of confidence I gained from that day still lives inside me up till now...

And then, my mind reached it's next destination —— the memories of the first Japanese class I attended with him. I still remembered that it was a Tuesday, because we had so much fun watching the younger kids do a role play... Yeo-san considered me a "senpai" ("sunbae" in Korean, “学长” in Chinese, "senior" in English) because of my...longer experience with the language than any other person in my class and threw me to Shun's side (Oh My God, I was abandoned! >< ), thus forcing me to sit with him and converse with him. I remembered telling myself :

"Oh Lord, kill me now... (==)"

I remembered bestie Lee Michelle blaming me for leaving her... But I guess I did stay with him a little too long... (><)

However that Tuesday didn't go as bad as I thought it would. It was really awkward at first, but then there was that dried leaf that floated into the classroom and onto the centre of our tables, which we curiously stared at for several seconds, which actually, lightened up our moods with a bit of laughter (^^) Thank you, Happa-san (葉-san XD) !

I remembered how absent-minded and innocently 'me' I was. I was that girl that he remembered for laughing and smiling a lot, that girl who ripped leaves when she was nervous, that girl who was forever curious and talking to herself a lot... (><) All in all, he remembered me because I was... an awkward idjit (idiot)... But if that's how I became memorable, shouldn't I be lucky I AM this way? That was what I've been thinking about this whole afternoon, when I was stuck in bed...

Come to think about it... Didn't Nii-sama also became friends with me because of how STUPID I was last year? Didn't everyone become friends with me because of how true I was to myself? Wasn't life so much easier and meaningful because they accepted me for me?
According to astrology and horoscopes, Leos are... yes, bossy, prideful, leader-ish, but we're also sincere when it comes to feelings, and just like how the manes on the lions are so big and obvious, like the sun, we also have a flair in being bright and vivid and making people smile...
If I really have this ability, why on Earth do I feel that I have to envy other people's lives and wish I could be like them?

Because I was still like when I was Std 1, I still had friends like Yee Wen and Yin Geok.

Because I was straightforward and honest, and sometimes easy to fool (hence Khin Yew fooled me into revealing my crush during std 4), I had friends like Khin Yew.

Because we shared a heart and a brain; we were same yet different, I had friends like Jessie.

Because I was so much like the girl that leads shoujo mangas and naturally had a flair of making people smile, I had friends like Nii-sama, Lee Michelle, Chern Hou, XinYi, Rima and Rui Yuan...

Because I so easily opened up and approached all that are trustworthy, I had friends like Ann-ie and Jia Yih~ (^^)

and...

because I spoke his language and tried my best for him, Shun remembers me up till the last day he stayed here.

So what am I still unsatisfied about?
If I were anyone else, maybe I wouldn't have had such good friends.
If I were anyone else, maybe I would have grown up to be a total bitch.
If I were anyone else, maybe I wouldn't have known Japanese, neither their language or culture.
If I were anyone else, maybe I'd never have watched Bleach and I'd never have my Nii-sama.
If I were anyone else, maybe I would have went to a different school and I'd never have the friends I have now.
If I were anyone else, maybe I wouldn't have had any memories with Shun at all...

You see, life is what you make it. Everything that has been going on with your life is all the consequences from your own actions and decisions, and how you make the best out of your life. It's true that life's sometimes bitter and you might have regrets, hey, even I do, but just think... If you were anyone else, you could have been much worse.
Maybe if you were someone else, you would have been less loved?
Maybe if you were someone else, you'd never have people you could trust?
Life may be bitter, but I'm sure all of us have made decisions that have brought us happiness, right?

Well, I dunno if I managed to convey anything, but one thing's for sure...

I'm sure there's many things, you'd like to change about yourself, but when it comes to me, I wouldn't wanna be anybody else... 

Someday, all of you, should be able to sing this...

纯情 Romance

Annyeong~ It's been hell a long time since I've last updated my blog haven't I? Well, nothing can be done. I was pretty busy with all the consecutive sport events and extra classes after all...

If you guys check your calendars, you'll see that this post is dated 6th of July, which happens to be Shun's last day in Malaysia. I wonder if you guys remember? (^^) Yes well, I haven't seen him for a long time now, although he came to my class for his 1st and last English period with us. I suppose it was fun, although it was embarrassing for me, being the translator and all. Fortunately it was only for a short few minutes (^^), but overall I had fun because we didn't have homework :P

*sighs* Listen, there's no point in making this post all smiles and laughter because I pretty much lost that flair a long time ago... It's July, and I'm supposed to be glad that my birthday is coming and all... and I'm also really touched that my Nii-sama remembers my birthday so accurately, but I just don't know why, at times, my whole life just feels so empty. I feel like a soulless vessel, hollow and meaningless... I could be smiling and cracking jokes a moment before, and then feel so lonely after. It's as though everything in my life has suddenly been whirled away, and for those long torturing moments, I can hardly feel anything at all... I used to be able to know I wanted to cry, I used to know what a smile from the heart felt like... now I'm oblivious to my own life. It's like a sudden blackout, when I can see nothing, and I get so scared... Does any of you even know what it feels like? To not be able to feel anything???

A few days ago, I started to wonder if this had anything to do with Shun going back to where he belongs... I always felt that him being here, was, unreal to me. His existence was like, when I read a comic book... I knew from the start he was real, real enough for me to be able to spent wonderful times with him, but aside from all of that, he was still, ethereal~ I took the past 2 months as a dream, a dream I can just wake up from the next morning and act like everything was back to normal... But maybe, have I gotten attached?

That leaf that flew in from the window...

The first laugh I heard from him....

All the smiles we shared...

And all the fun times he wanted to have with me,

The memories he wanted to remember about me...

They were all supposed to be... a dream, a fantasy I could wake up from... But with things as it is now, I'm trying so hard to wake up when I subconsciously might not want to... At times like this I feel selfish enough to the extent of wishing he could stay HERE. I want to feel

THE EXCITEMENT....

THE ANXIETY....

THE HAPPINESS...

THE JEALOUSY...

I want to feel it all, because at least I could feel myself feeling something... I want it all. When my heartbeat starts racing and my cheeks turn bright red... no, they don't feel good, but it so beats feeling nothing......

So am I actually blue about him leaving...? Didn't I know that he would leave from the start?
No, perhaps him leaving ain't the issue here...
It's probably this yearning for him to stay here, it's probably the regret of not having enough courage when I was around him, it's probably the hatred I feel towards myself for changing when the old me was what got us closer in the first place...

I was relaxed. Easy. Lively. Innocent.
I was... a better person.
I just don't get why I changed when the old me was so true and real with him. I don't get why I changed, I don't get how I changed... But I became so passive and so shy, everything I said turned out to be the shortest sentence I've ever spoken to someone... There were so many things I wanted to say to him, but something kept me from doing so... Something made me so self conscious, something made me feel I was an idiot in his presence, something made me feel so scared he was going to hate such a foolish me, something stopped me from talking to him... I kept quiet, I kept all I wanted to say IN, for 2 months......

I realized this lack of courage wasn't going to do me any good, so 2 days ago, I wrote him a letter...

I thought, since this was the last time I'll ever get to tell him anything again, I might as well pour out all my thoughts in that letter... Besides, I'm at my best when I have my pen... It was difficult for me, cause I kept thinking of how it'd be a hindrance, and a pain for him to read because...my Japanese ain't perfect, but I gave it my all... Who cares if the letter showed how stupid I was! It wasn't like he's ever going to see me again... Maybe one day we'll look back and laugh at my stupidity... (^^) I poured out my soul into that letter, baked for him, and went to the temple for him... If the letter doesn't convey anything, I was hoping at least my prayers would be with him.

Maybe the regrets of me just admiring him from afar for 2 whole months would continue to haunt me for years and years to come, but in the end I did try to do something...

I know, when he goes back tomorrow, my life would be back to normal...
(Well, it doesn't look very normal now does it?)
*sighs* I never liked saying goodbyes, especially when there's no chance of meeting again. So, lemme just say :

Goodnight...
I'll miss you...
But it's time, I woke up...

Back To School~

Annyeonghaseyo! (^^) Well, it was the 1st day of school today~ Miraculously, my mum managed to bring me there pretty early today and I met up with my "yeon-in" (恋人）—— 吴佳瑜 right after I reached the school~ <3
It's been 14 days since I last saw my friends, it's really great to see them all again, but that just means one thing: the 2nd school semester starts now... *sighs*

Anyway, the new school principal came today. It was a "she" actually, from afar, I thought I saw Sejarah teacher, Pn Soh :P I hear she's pretty strict and everything, but I gotta say, she's got the "principal-esque" style~ White long sleeved blouse and a black skirt, and her hair was like...curled and then tied into a ponytail. Seriously, if you watched English Movies in the 90-s, that was pretty much what she looked like, "90-s English principal-esque", which was pretty awesome actually~
I eventually saw the Choral Speaking performance today that everyone was working hard for, I believe it is okay, though I couldn't really hear part of their speech, but they did nail "SUPERMUM" well~ :P I don't know, it's just a little weird...good, but weird. (><) Oh! However Zhen Hong was pretty awesome as conductor! (^^) Well, that's what you'd expected from someone who's been a conductor all his life right? Damn, he was SOOOOO AWESOME! <3

Hmm~ After the performance, we went back to class, changed our seats. You know, it's pretty much something to look forward to every few weeks when we change our seats~ The rotation enables us to sit with new people every few cycles~ Today, apparently, I get the seat below the fan, yeah! :P Ah~ and on my right side is Yee Wen. Sure brings back memories for when we used to sit together in elementary school~ (^^) They were childish, good memories though~ I dunno why, but we used to talk about "Super Mario", haha... And then there were several English songs that we sang together... and there was that worm thing we used to talk about... WHAT THE HELL WAS UP WITH THAT? (==) ... Anyway, when you look back, those times were pretty awesome. And back in the elementary school days, there was always a constant rotation of the 1st, 2nd and 3rd place between Yin Geok, Me and Yee Wen~ Haiz, why can't high school be as easy as elementary school? (T^T) ... Whoa! Come to think of it, I've been in the same class with Rachel and Yee Wen for 10 years now! That, in some way, has gotta be cool!

Anyway, the timetable for today has changed, so the 1st period was BC, but the whole class didn't bring any Chinese books. The teacher got pissed off and had us do our own things, and then... the TEST PAPERS of DOOM were launched at us~~ You know just how doomed you are once you get your papers~ ( = 3=) Anyway, me and Yee Wen were like super chuak, and I was so scared I waited 5 minutes before actually looking at my marks. I stared at the back of my exam paper, and Yee Wen was like
"你看了吗？"
Me：“还没有——！(><)”
I finally summoned up my courage and flipped the paper to reveal my marks... it was... an inverted 99 —— 66！（T^T）Oh well~ At least it was better than the 64% I got last time... But... that was just part of the paper~ There was another paper we tested for, which was to be combined with the paper I received just now and divide it by 2 (I think...). That's how we get the actual marks. I waited anxiously for the other paper to reach me... In the end I got...... another 66% (==) What's the point of adding 66% to 66% and dividing it by 2 if the marks is still gonna be 66% ANYWAY! Hence, the conclusion is:
Bahasa Cina = 66% (T^T)
Oh well... better than 64%... I'm thankful enough.

After BC, we had BM... (T^T)... Like I said, I couldn't finish my Paper 2, but...! Miraculous enough, many people didn't do so well even though they finished it, and so it was just the same whether I finished my paper or not. *sighs* Although...how do I tell my parents I got a 59% for BM? (TT) Why couldn't it have been a 60% at least?! It would have made the message much easier to convey... Oh, why did I get Gokudera's number?

After BM was Chemistry~ Another subject I suck in... though I suck in Physikos' most~ (!@#$%^&* Physics!) Good enough, I got an 84%~ :P Lucky me lar! Considering I read manga when I study! :P
We had an early recess, and after recess was our Maths~ I know I wouldn't fail Math so I was a bit relaxed. I got a 94% because of careless mistakes, and my "formula-less but full of answers" Venn Diagram... Damn... Oh well, at least I actually got something with a 9 as the first digit... (T^T) So happy!

Sejarah was next... The quizzes Pn Soh gave us helped a lot so I wasn't too worried. I got a 91% <3 though the highest mark was 100%~ Sugoi ne~~ 羡慕-ing... But 91% ain't so bad. I could have got 94% but I had 2 careless mistakes at the objective section... Hell, thinking back truly MAKES ME WANNA CRY! (TT TT) If only I was a bit more careful!

After Sejarah, we had our last period for the day —— BIO!!! Bio has gotta be the best Science I'm in! Although my best doesn't mean I'm SUPER awesome in it~ ( = 3=) *sighs*
Anyway, I got an 84%, that's gotta signify something right? It's an A, not an A+, whatever! It's still an A ! This is as far as I can go to console myself for going to flunk Physics and getting a stupid 59% for my BM~ I feel guilty towards my tuition teacher. But it's not that I dunno how to do, I just don't have the time!
(TT) ...Oh, as though explaining would make me feel better... *mushrooms in a corner* Oh yeah! Yee Wen got a freakin' 93% for his Bio! That was SO, TOTALLY INSANE! He is awesome! (><)

So, my latest records are:
BC : 66%
Chem: 83%
BM: 59%
MM: 94%
SEJ: 91%
BIO: 84%

(><) Well, as thrilling as it was to get my test results today, sitting with Yee Wen brought back sweet elementary school memories, and seeing that we can still get along makes me all the more happier :P We talked about the past a bit, and I even found out that Zhen Hong, Hui Si, Yee Wen and I were originally nominated for 模范生 during elementary school! Although ZhenHong and HuiSi were chosen at last... Talking to him, it's like the good old days, only now I'm not 6, I'm 16! （^^）I wonder what made us grow separate seeing as we were such close friends back in the days and we can still be... Hmm, I dunno~ All I know is, reliving childhood memories...doesn't seem so bad after all.

Hey old friends, new friends, seriously:
Friends Forever ya??? (^^)

Goodbye, Holidays~

Remember how I almost died during the 2 weeks of exams and how I was brought back to life with 2 weeks of holidays? Yeah well... Today's the last day of my 14-day break, so tomorrow, it'll be back to school again... (TT) ... Hmm, maybe I should smile considering Shun's gonna be our classmate starting tomorrow?

Anyway, I didn't do much with my holidays. Aside from doing chores OCCASIONALLY, I spend ALL of my time in front of the computer screen checking out hot guys :P ... Okay, not hot guys, hot anime guys, ok? I also used one day to re-watch all of Sekaiichi Hatsukoi （世界一初恋），a really SUPER anime NOT for random kids to watch, although...there's nothing wrong with watching it no matter what age you are really~ All I know is it's a real eye-candy for Fujoshis' （腐女子）, people like me. ...... Yeah yeah, judge away~

Now, aside from Haruka Minami, I suppose there is another awesome mangaka I love --- Takatsuki Noboru! He/She (not sure ><) illustrated the images for "Hanamachi Monogatari", a Japanese game I most recently played (wanted to play the Chinese version, but there were download problems = 3=). OMG!!! Shuri （朱璃）!!! <3 <3 <3 I don't believe it~ Now that the hols are over, there's no way I'd get chances to play it now, could I? (T^T) Oh Shuri~~ *sobs sobs* "We must now part, though I will be with you soon, my love~" ...... Okay, that was too much Shakespeare... *clears throat*
Anyway!!! I bought another set of manga, illustrated by Takatsuki Noboru (Chara Cafe Relish ni Oide) It was...kinda worth it, I guess. (^^)
And so, you pretty much know what I've been doing for 14 days~

Okay, yesterday (Saturday), was like... I dunno, the most expensive day of my life. In the morning, they woke me up...at 11am... (yes, I don't get out of bed as long as I'm hugging my bolster, because it's so soft and fluffy, I love it!) *hugs bolster* (>u<), and then the whole family went to Aeon Jusco... for HOT POT! <3 There is nothing I love more than seafood, soup and "kinoko"! I LOVE MUSHROOMS!After we were done with the CHOU-AWESOME (超awesome) meal, I went to Comic Paradise ... (hoping to buy manga? XD ) ... and ended up getting hit-on by random guys I dunno (= 3=)... They were like "Sexy ar~~", I pretended as though I wasn't listening. ... Maybe it was my fault for wearing those jean shorts... ( = 3=) They WERE pretty short... But I love them! (><)

I ended up not buying anything from Comic Paradise because there weren't any of my favourite mangakas' work and I've read most of the manga~ (Hmm, even Joshua knows I'm a manga-maniac XD). I went to Nokia Store with my mum and saw a super beautiful Nokia N8!
I was like "OMG! This is so pretty!"
My mum: "What's this?"
Me: "I dunno, but IT'S PRETTY!"
The salesman approached us and showed us the functions of N8, and honey, you practically don't need a laptop or a TV if you have N8! I mean, you can watch videos online (I mean TV3, 8TV and things), take clear pics with the 12MP camera, plus the video application is like watching TV in HD, SERIOUSLY! My mum fell in love with the handphone, eventhough I wanted it, and bought it for herself.
I was like "I saw it first. You walked right past it searching for an Iphone!"
My mum laughed and went on to buy the phone, and I was sulking... because N8 is awesome okay?! ... My mum then asked me to check out the others, that was cheaper than hers... I went around playing eveything in the store, and then decided on Nokia E5. I mean, she doesn't know my results yet, and I know my results might be "failing marks", so out of guilt, I just chose E5, since I'm still young and using my mum's money. It'd be really...irresponsible to just have her buy things so expensive for me. So...my mum bought me the E5 (^^).
I love you, mummy! <3
I swear I'll work hard! (^^)

Okay, I wanna sell my Nokia 6120. I bought it around RM400, so I think I'll sell for RM150?
- It's pink, and it's not very pretty, but I think you can change the casing.
- I've never dropped my phone before, and it's in good condition (cause I take care of it so well ma~~ XD).
- It comes with a charger, earphones, USB cable (for PC to HP download and vice versa) + manual.
- 2MP Camera (but really good) + a secondary camera for easy 自拍-ing + Memory Card slot (which means  it can support nGB memory card)
- Functions include dictionary, music player, Real player, Adobe, recorder, IMChat, radio, Flash player. There's also Internet access but I don't quite like it lar.

...This was me during the holidays...

I'd upload a picture of my Nokia 6120 someday, but now I'm just too busy (><)

Had a fun time chatting with my Nii-sama today (^^) It's been such a long time since we've talked. Love ya~ <3

Also, facing timetable probs... Dunno which schedule should be used tomorrow...? (><)

Argh~ My bedtime is almost here.
Tomorrow's back to school!
No... My results... (T^T) NO!!!!!!

*sob sob*

Goodbye, Holidays... 

BM Kertas 2 = *SHIT*

哇—— 我有够久没update blog的咯~ 是有很多东西说，不过最近忙着应付考试（其实是忙着想应付考试、却往往被Technology给诱惑了，有够糟—— TT），所以就没时间update了咯~ 之前发生了好多趣事，不过还是等假期的时候再记述吧~ 今天只说今天的事哦~ (^^) 包你们获益不浅！XD

哎，今天第一天考试，考得是国文，所以对我来说压力没多大~ (><) 昨天还睡了个大懒觉才醒来吃晚餐，然后就忙着玩电话的game，不到晚上十点不温习~ 温习总算成功，所以在凌晨12点睡下去了，一直到今天早上心情一直很不错……一直到那恐怖的早上8时30分……

KERTAS 2，开始！！！一开始作答，我简直就想死掉～第一面是Rumusan，不知说啥鬼MyID的东东，害我看了30分钟也不懂是啥鬼。我翻到最后一面，看看出题老师是谁，然后在心里暗骂她：“死老师，出这种题目。” 然后才继续做~ 我乱乱找出几个isi，然后马马虎虎写了我的很失败的Rumusan~ 再翻到第二面，做pemahaman，这个还勉强应付得来，随着就做了三题Komsas，题目真的害我很乱，所以等我做完Komsas只剩下半小时了，而且Tatabahasa和Novel也还没做！！！

我顿时……PANIC了起来！！！一开始做tatabahasa就出了问题，I mean……What the hell is "tepok"?! And so，我乱乱造了个句子，我可以确定一定错！然后造句后就是mencerakinkan ayat，害得我眼花缭乱，所以我直接skip掉~ （= 3=）接下来呢就有三题Kenalpasti Kesalahan Dalam Ayat，我kenalpasti了几个，又有几个找不到，所以也skip掉~ 然后E项的Peribahasa，虽然明白它意思，也什么都没做，skip掉！！！ (TT) 我在5分钟内做完了两题Novel（对不起老师，请原谅我写的字体——），15分内多多少少也有5分吧！呜呜—— 看看时钟得知还有2分钟，我就尝试去mencerakinkan ayat, 乱乱cerakin了4句，然后时间到——！Yes…… 我空住的题目sibeh多~ （= 3=）…… 真是欲哭无泪…… 啊~ 这样啊，bet是我赢定了，死党李蜜儿小姐~ 我真的赢定了~ 这非谦虚的行为，只是事实，yes，一个让人崩溃的事实…… 噢噢，我们的打赌，是赌谁的成绩比较差，所以胜者的分数比败者的低……算是种安慰吧…… (TT) OMG……我死定了……

下课后时BM Kertas 1，这还算过得去吧—— 多亏补习抄了不少petikan terpilih，所以还算写得到不错的作文，至于切不切题我一无所知—— 可是我怎么想都觉得我的Kertas 1总比Kertas 2好吧—— 我的Kertas 2简直就是Shit！屎！Haiz, now I know that when you do shit, you get stuck in deep shit too... (TT) Beh tahan ad... This shit is worse than the shit I did the last time... Argh，Form 4 sucks!!! (TT) *sob sob* .......

哎哎，不过今天去了日语学会，就得到了一种欣慰~ 今天小俊有在，这么久没看到他，才发现原来对他有一点点的想念啊~ 哎~~ 糟了糟了，人家回日本去我怎么办呢？……嗨…… 今天去上日文课的只有我一个中四学徒，坐在最后面（最emo）的位子做自己的东西，然后Yeo-san过来告诉我，假期后小俊confirm来我们班哦！我的Surat Rasmi果然没有失败过，欣慰！！！XD Yeo-san还问我Miss Tan是怎样的老师，我说她教课的方法有包括唱歌的时候，Yeo-san的脸顿时亮了起来，好像放下了一大重担似的~ 不过啊，俊来我们班的事可要保密哦，Yeo-san 说的~ 啊啊，所以你们不要乱传出去哦~~ (^^) ……嗨……可是啊，我们现在换时间表了怎么办？！（〉〈）8天后就拿得回旧时间表么？！啊！！！ 事情若不顺利的话，怎么感觉好像一切都会是我的错呢？压力——

嗯啊~ 然后呢，有人就问俊prom的事，他说他想去可是没人陪~ （==”）这算是问题么？他只要一开口有谁会拒绝么！？ 哎哎—— 他最后得到了一个解决方法，那就是……
在Facebook上问有谁愿意陪他~ XD
所以啊美丽的育中少女们，想和王子去prom的话，就快点在Facebook等他post在status那里吧~！哎哎，我也没有想去的打算，不过他去的话我当天去Duty PA也不错~~ Jason你允许么？（= 3=）

嗯—— Prom的事情解决了后，我就坐到后面那个emo位， 继续做日文班的功课。俊走过来，在我身边站了好久，我疑惑地看着他（是想要他走开，因为他有在的话我就会紧张，然后我就会做错，then他就会看到！啊！！！>< 丢脸！），他也看着我，我们对视了很久，然后他就假装扑过来，害我chuak到一下！(><) 他看到我的反应就大笑了起来，我在那一刹那一定是红彤的了~ 我还没有镇定下来他靠近了一点，顺手拿在我身边的扇子，用戏弄的语调说：“谢谢你~”
我：“啊，喂~~~！><" 他把扇子打开，走到Yeo-san前面替自己扇呀扇风，Yeo-san就问他扇子是谁的，啊啊，然后就没听到俊说什么（因为我在做功课），过后Yeo-san就说：“啊~ Samantha-san的~” 啊啊，所以说，难道俊会讲我名字么？（= 3=）無理！

然后呢，老师又来了，耍他最经典的招术 —— 叫俊改我的书 (==")……  他又坐在我旁边，改我的书，而我超级紧张的在那边玩扇子~~ （><）Oh god he's so cute~~ OMG! <3 Dilamun cinta...? XD 改完了后，我们两个人静静地坐在一起（啊！尴尬尴尬尴尬！），非常不自在的我终于决定去告诉Yeo-san玉杰叫我邀请俊去St.John Dreamz Camp的事（总好过在俊隔壁讲不出话吧？！）~ 俊当天有别的计划（参与St David 双生姐妹的生日派对），不过是在下午的时候。他说他会尽力出席，过后我又想到他要去Dreamz Camp，得要有翻译员才行吧？所以我告诉Yeo-san说：
“老师，他有去的话，你要跟着他去哦~ 因为我没有去~ ><”
Yeo-san 就很干脆地说：“哎呀—— 你没有去酱他去来做什么？”
我：“啊~ 这是我帮朋友问的~ 我本来就没去~”
Yeo-san：“你去啦~ 不然他去了没有意思~”
班上：“没有意思——？！” 有些很chuak，有些想笑~
我：“Yeo-san~~ 我去还是没去都没意思—— ==”
Yeo-san：“你try去啦~”
我：“可是我不是St John的~ 我本来就不能去~”
Form 5 的Yuki Chong赞成~
Yeo-san：“酱你会去还是不会去？他在等你现在~”
我：“……我不是St John的，我不可以去~”
不过啊，俊还是尽量会去的，不过要先搞好camp的资料再告诉他，他再打算~ (><)
啊啊—— 多一件好消息~ 5月28号，他或许会和你们去看Super Junior!!! 注：是Super Junior!!! 佳瑜开心了吧？日本人去看SUPER JUNIOR哦~~ 不是少女时代哦~~ 佳瑜开心了吧？^^

啊啊~ 然后，我和俊花了不少（但又不多）时间谈日本动画、日本歌曲、还有我唱歌他都听到了~ （==“）算是无意中被他听到的吧，因为他在跟我讲话而我因为在翻译歌词一直唱着那一段曲~ （= 3=）哇哈哈！和帅哥谈动画很好玩~ XD 还有我还要和他抢那张Ash Like Snow的歌词！（><）当然没真正用力去抢啦~ 我的纸破掉就有！我看他大概是啥动画都知道吧，而且还是一个相当忠实的Gundam粉丝吧！
哎，总之就很好玩咯~ 真的很好玩~ Chu~ <3

我们就这样玩到4点~ 然后在回去之前，我因为紧张，说话说不出口，就在白板上写了5个字：
“Aoi uchiwa” （蓝色扇子）接着再写 “ageru?” （送？）
他头上冒出很多问号~ （><）而我又像白痴酱讲不出话！然后我想到一个字，就在白板上写：
“Okurimono” （礼物）
他这下明白了，yes！就说：“啊，没关系~ 谢谢你~”
And his smile's so handsome~~ <3 OMG, faint ad, faint ad!!! (><) I melt ad, melt ad~ *stuck in my girlie love situations* Argh, he's so awesome!!! Ok  ok, calm down~ *inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale* Ok~ (^^) ... (>u<) <3

And then he walked out of class and waited for whoever was left in the class~ Form 5's Yuki followed him out, then I came out later, he stuck his leg out and attempted to trip me! BULLY!!! (><) I paused before I ... tripped over his foot, then he took his foot back and laughed~ After that, he stuck his leg out again to show me what he was doing just now~ (==") He's just adorable~ Oh My God.

Oh oh, Shun likes to play with Yeo-san's stomach~ ( = 3=) He's obviously trying to show Yeo-san's tummy~ (==") And he so innocently plays with it nobody can ever, ever, EVER, get mad at him~ I mean like seriously, he smiles so innocently when he does the thing with the tummy~ I almost melted (><) ~ And Yeo-san likes to say "I'm so busy~~" and sometimes he just sits down doing nothing and says that~ So I was like: "(-_=) Busy...?" And Shun totally gets what I mean by that tone of voice, and he laughs and repeats "Busy~~"

Oh yeah, did I also say random strangers have been talking to me often now? (O。O）And just yesterday while I was eating ice-cream with Ann, 2 Malay juniors were staring at me... (==") Freaky~ Eh, I'm not complaining~ It's nice meeting new friends~（︿︿）　

Ok lar~ There's BC exam tmr~ (Dear God, I wonder what shit I'm gonna do tomorrow! And Shun won't be there to make it feel better... What do I do...?) Aiz... Gotta study one way or the other~

Till the freakin' next time,
Ciao~

我的小世界团团转~ @@

Mawaru, mawaru, mawaru~  我的小世界旋转得很够力一下咯！一切变成mechakucha的！(TT)
啊啊，一到学校啊，就从上课到放学一直听到“日本人”这个字还真的是有够闷的说！哎哎，我也是喜欢他的呀，但也不用一直叫吧？还有拜托，人家姓“諸江”，名字叫“俊”，不是“江俊”！ （><）

今天的课业过得超轻松的说，Physics节的时候没听课（我曾听课过么？），反而和Gina，Rachel， 死党（李蜜儿）还有萱微玩“文字接龙” XD ~  真是又好玩，又“十八禁”的说！哦呵呵！
“ 上下 --> 下床 --> 床上 --> 上床” ？！ XD

啊啊，然后今天英文节的时候，老师叫我下去楼下拿Summary的纸，结果撞见俊！哦呵呵！我最近在Facebook与他通信，send的message真的很白痴的说，所以当时还真是有点尴尬~ 哎哎，与他对视了一小段时间（还好每被电晕 XD），就屁颠屁颠走到楼上去了~ (><) 尴尬——

多说无益，直接讲放学后的日语班吧！（^^）
哎哎，理所当然的，今天俊终于来了~ 哎，不过本姑娘依然冷静 (冷静……？ 囧！），绝对不会自己主动去找他的说！顾下面子嘛，对不？啊啊，说俊之前啊，我首先要说，
日语班又多了三位新生的说！其中之一就是我班俐思，然后就是初中组的某某女后辈，and高中组的某某男前辈~ ( = 3=) 突然来上日文课，不知到底有何目的呐！(><) 哎哎，不过毕竟已经答应过俐思妹不会怀疑她的意念，那我就少管人家事啦~

啊啊，今天啊，我的确没有去找俊的说，因为正好有summary要忙—— 哎哎，怎么也不会想到他会来到我面前的说！我那时是站着的，看见他在我面前，用那可爱的表情看着我，我怎么感觉怪怪的，用困惑的眼神傻傻看着他，对他点了点头，然后慢慢坐下来。我们俩，对视了挺久，然后他笑着说 “Hello!"，我直接 “囧” 掉！不过他当时很可爱的说，所以我也以微笑回应他~ (><)

然后啊，俊呢看见了俐思画的新一（柯南），所以就感了兴趣，还问俐思可不可以画他真人~ 开玩笑！嘛—— 我看俐思也不会答应吧？画portrait是很难的说~ 是恬心才办到的事吧！(><) 也不是说我小看俐思，不过画像画并非每个人做到的事啊~ （〉3〈）哎哎，不过这些有艺术天分的，我真的超级羡慕他们的说！(><)

啊啊，还有！今天不知怎的，有人问我prom的事！大概是...那个日语高手前辈 （Oh Kwan Ee），和他同学吧~ 他们俩和俊讲话然后莫名其妙问我Prom在何时举行？！Nee，这我也不太清楚所以就说“大概六月”，不过重点不是在这里啦！我是想知道，俊与前辈们为什么会懂prom的事啊？还有，为什么要说prom！？啦啦，Mabel看似有竞争对手了哦！(><) 哎~ 然后听Ann说俊要求和某某女生拍照的事，哎，Mabel的竞争对手真的多了好几倍呢！也不是说我完全不在意啦，不过我若在意起来，真的很不适合我形象的说~ （〉〈）

Eh~~~ 接下来就说……
嗯，俊今天闷死了，所以跑到永春楼楼上去。老师看见他和我招手之后，便和我说：“你看他。闷到跑到楼上去了。你帮我一个忙，去楼上和他谈天可以吗？”
我：“啊？！不要啦——”
老师：“你跟他讲话也可以当作是你口头的练习~”
然后老师二话不说，进去2A3了~
我独自在楼梯口：“Eh?!?! 他是认真的吗？！”
我在楼梯口那里蘑菇了好久，最后选择进去2A3...
我：“老师！你真的要我去楼上啊！？”
老师好干脆地：“啊，对~”
（==）然后我刚上楼，就看见俊下来了，然后我似乎听到他说 "Walao A" ?!?!
我，超级惊讶，说：“什么？”  （in Japanese）
他，超级单纯的在那边一直重复 “Walao A” （囧！）
我说俊，你怎么去学这种东西？！ 哦，btw，俊也学会说 "Selamat pagi" ，“comel”，“奇怪！” etc etc 马来语和中文~ 真是又囧有可爱—— 囧！
然后啊，他进班后依然一直说“Walao A”（囧——）。我劝他不要说，然后他很好奇地跑到前辈那里问“Walao A”什么意思，囧！然后大家都不知该怎么解释，只告诉他说那字很粗俗。他似乎有点明白了，再过来我这边说...
"Walao A" ... (==)
我：“啊~！〉〈 不可以！！！”
他：“不能说？”
我点头。
他：“因为粗鄙？”
我点头。
他：“难怪我就听那个字好像是很怪的语言！”
……天，他很可爱的说…… <3

啊啊，我想在这里澄清！
我没有和俊玩追追！
我是在逃命！(><) 都是因为那个恶心的白色ribbon的发夹啦~~ 把它夹在蜜儿头上，结果她就生气了，想处罚我，所以我就跑出教室，然后蜜儿才会追在身后的说！我跑了那么久，直到跑到体育馆之后才回头看见俊也在身后了！(><) Dakara、我没有和他玩追追，我是在逃命的说！你们别把它看成这么温馨的事，好不好？！一旦失足会发生生命危险啊（被蜜儿殴死等事情）！

（= 3=）写得好长了对不？再忍我吧，我要说最后一件事了~
今天啊，有6位4Sc1的同学上日语班：蜜儿+Gina+俐思、Rachel+Christina。我呢，由于没事做，就走来走去当小老师咯~~ 教一点，再和俊谈天一点，再教一点，再和俊谈天一点—— 我就这样过了好几十分钟，最后就看见俊在白板上画画。他首先画的是网球拍（画得很不错的说！），然后就画了冰淇淋（也画得很好！）。
我，由于很想吃：“想吃么？”
他：“好想吃~~”
接着他在白板上写 “好想吃” ——
刚好老师走来了，
我：“老师——！他要吃冰淇淋~~”
老师：“他很热啦——”
我：“老师，你问他他要吃吗——”
老师：“自己问啦~”
我：“不要——” （不知怎的，今天的我超级害羞、紧张、说不出话的说！）
随后老师问了他，他说“要”，然后我正好也想吃嘛，所以老师就叫我们一起去买咯~
我走出门，俊跟在身后。我们经过了好多好多我认识的人（=="）：浩宁、银诗、Ann、陈欣怡 等等…… 真的很奇怪的说！（〉〈）我们走进Stadium……
他：“这里？”
我：“嗯！^^”
我们站在冷藏库前，然后就有很多讶异的眼神盯着我们看—— 囧！然后俊的羽球朋友（Form 3 的Aaron Yap）就过来和他"Hello", 随着看到我，然后就进去打羽球了~
俊：“嗯~~~ 我要巧克力的~~”
我：“Eh~~~巧克力？〉〈”
俊：“嗯！”
我：“喜欢么？”
俊：“嗯~ *微笑*”
然后他就忙着把钱包拿出来；而我忙着帮他选~
我：“Nee~ 全部都一定要是巧克力么？” （我的天，我去哪找？！难道我去买PaddlePop咩？！）
俊：“嗯，巧克力~”
我：“全部？！”
俊：“不，一点就够了~”
于是—— 我挑Magnum咯~ :P
我：“这……可以么？”
俊：“巧克力？”
我：“是有……”
俊：“那就这个吧！”
我：“嗯？真的？〉〈”
俊：“嗯~”
我：“……那我也是吧！^^”
俊：“哈哈！”
于是我们就买了咯。先是我帮他付钱的，不过他找回给我，还给我多20仙~~
我傻傻看着他。
俊：“怎么啦？”
我：“多——”
俊：“多？”
然后我转身想走，看到玉杰、振弘在看着我们。Okay...... 囧——! 我和玉杰他们谈天了一下，他们说要听我和他说日语（無理！我今天跟他在一起像白痴酱，我才不要继续现丑咧！〉〈） Then和他们讲话到一半，俊问我：“啊~ 现在在这里可以吃吧？” 我点头。然后玉杰他们就再三地拜托我对俊讲日语，我当然不要！
俊：“好吃~~”（陶醉-ing！so cute！）
然后，想到很喜欢羽球的俊，我就走到Stadium里面那个Badminton Court。他超级好奇地看着我。
“不想进来么？” 他也跟着我进来了，把他的包包放在长凳上，然后就非常入神地看着他们打羽球。我呢，则坐在他旁边（距离蛮远的，颖慧、Ann可以作证哦！），忙着吃我的Magnum~ 然后他坐近一点（就一点点而已，我们距离还是很远的~），我就把多余的20仙还给他。
他：“哦~” 然后就接过了硬币，再递给我说：“没关系啦~”
我，接过了，然后再递回给他：“我也没关系啦~”
最后他就收下了~ （^^）我们继续待在那儿，他投入地看着羽球，我则被数几个讶异的目光包围了，其中有炳生在作弄我，还有数几个我不认识的人……囧！

下课后（4：30pm），我们就各走各的，然后Aaron Yap竟然跟我讲话！亏我都没见过他，他却和我讲话！…… 还不是因为俊？（〉〈）
呀—— 怎么他人气提升的同时，我的也好像提升了？囧—— Yare yare...

今天其实还有其他可爱的东西想说哦，不过我真的累坏了！(><) 原本今天想做很多事也却一无所成~ （TT）啊—— 老师（补习的），你的Karangan...我恐怕没时间做了！（〉〈）

俊的可爱，我以后再说吧——
等不到以后的话，那明天有时间找我谈天咯~ （= 3=）
Ok~ 下集待续~~ XD
Stay tuned~ <3